Troubled Past
by GoldenHelikaon
Summary: AU. Slash. Mpreg. 2 years ago James was taken out of school because of a terrible secret. But when the truth is known to the whole of Hogwarts, who will be there to pick up the broken pieces of James Potter?
1. Welcome Back

**Troubled Past**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own incredibly much, though I wish I did. As usual, I do own Michael and Irene Potter – though I'm not sure I want to for the duration of this story.

**Summary: AU. Slash. Mpreg.** 2 years ago James was taken out of school because of a terrible secret. But when the truth is known to the whole of Hogwarts, who will be there to pick up the broken pieces of James Potter?

**Warnings:** See summary. Abuse and rape mentioned throughout. **AU** because Sirius didn't run away to the Potters', he ran away to the Lupins' instead.

**Pairings:** Sirius/Remus, and eventual Lucius/James.

**Not the most original of story titles, I know, but I couldn't think of anything better.**

……………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 1:**_ Welcome Back_

A lone dark haired boy sat in a compartment at the back of the Hogwarts Express; he was curled up in the corner against the window with a book. He had arrived at Kings Cross Station earlier than most people so that he could get onto Platform 9 ¾ unnoticed and get a compartment on his own. The boy ran a hand through his naturally messy black hair and he gazed over his book and out the window, parents and students were starting to fill up the Platform. He watched wistfully as he saw the happy Hogwarts students, new and old, hugging their parents goodbye, he wished he could have that.

The boy turned back to his book, he could hear students starting to pour onto the train, laughing and talking with their friends. As far as he knew, his old friends probably wouldn't want anything to do with him as he had just disappeared at the beginning of his fifth year at Hogwarts, he hadn't contacted them in two years either. He wondered whether they would want him back if he explained why he had left.

A few minutes later he heard two laughing male voices approaching his end of the train, he figured everyone else were probably already in compartments because it was quieting down. He didn't bother looking up when the compartment door opened.

"Oh says you, Mr 'Head Boy' Lupin," laughed one of the boys.

The other boy, Lupin, laughed as well but he fell silent as soon as he laid his eyes on the boy beside the window.

"…James…"

The boy with the book, James Potter, looked up and straight into the eyes of his oldest friend, Sirius Black.

………

"Where have you been?" questioned Sirius a little while later, after he and Remus Lupin had gotten over the shock of seeing their old friend.

James gave a wry smile, "Ireland, my parents shipped me off there to be with my grandparents."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not talk about that," he replied quietly. He was getting a bit uncomfortable under the intent gazes his two friends were giving him. "I didn't want to go, but I had no choice."

"What about your education?" asked Remus frowning a little.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "I don't think that's too important right now, Rem."

James smirked humourlessly, "I've been doing all my lessons by correspondence with Hogwarts for the last two years."

"But why did you leave?" asked Sirius again. He was so curious, he had been so worried when James had just up and left one morning at the beginning of their fifth year.

"I don't want to talk about it," said James a bit more firmly. "Anyway, what's been happening without me?" he was determined to try and keep Sirius off the subject of his last two years, at least for now, anyway.

Sirius frowned, he was well aware that the subject was being changed to shut him up, but he decided to let it go. For now. "Not too much…haven't been pranking much, because the brains behind the operations took off-" he stopped abruptly when Remus' hand connected with his stomach to shut him up. "Ow…"

"Yeah, anyway," continued Remus after making sure Sirius wouldn't make anymore stupid comments to do with James' disappearance. He could see that the reasons James had left were unmentionable at the moment, so he decided he wouldn't pry, he knew James would tell them in his own time. "Not much really has happened since you left, the only significant change is our new Potions professor." James raised his eyebrows curiously. "Lucius Malfoy is now a Hogwarts teacher. God only knows what Dumbledore was thinking with that particular employment."

James smiled slightly, "So he's just as much of a bastard as he was in our first year, then?"

Remus chewed his bottom lip for a moment, "Well, he's not that bad," Sirius snorted. "I mean, he does pick on us Gryffindors a lot, but he's not an absolute shit to everyone. He has some mercy."

Sirius nodded in agreement, "Also, Lily Evans finally got that rod out of her arse at the end of last year, and Peter, well…Merlin only knows where he is. He has been disappearing a lot recently, at some really odd times." He studied James for a moment. "What have you been up to?"

James frowned a little; he should have remembered just how prying Sirius could be when he was being kept in the dark about something. "That is _my_ business, and my business alone."

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, if that was the way James wanted to play it, then so be it. But he was still determined to find out why James had left school, and he was certainly determined to find out why whatever it was had changed his best friend so dramatically. Though he had only been around James for about an hour, he could already tell that his friend had changed, and he was certain Remus had noticed as well, there wasn't much that the werewolf didn't notice. James was much quieter than he used to be, and it was obvious that something bad had happened to him, and that mischievous and happy spark in his light brown eyes had gone, it had been replaced with an almost haunted look. That was possibly what worried Sirius the most, as he had always assumed James had had a happy childhood and everything, one much better than his own.

………

The Hogwarts Express drew to a halt at Hogsmeade Station some hours later, and the three old friends got off the train together and found a carriage to take them up to Hogwarts.

James was very conscious of the suspicious looks Remus and Sirius kept throwing him, and he was especially conscious of the questioning looks they were giving each other, it was almost like they were communicating vie telepathy. But then he supposed, he had changed since he had left Hogwarts, he knew he had and he knew exactly why as well. But he could not tell his friends the real reason he had been taken out of school, could he? He was certain they would probably never speak to him again if he told them the truth, he felt sure they would think much less of him as well. They would probably think of him as some easy slut or something. He felt terrible enough as it was about what had happened to him the summer before his fifth year, but he just knew it would be ten times worse if people knew. He was dirty and tainted, and everyone else would think so too if they knew, wouldn't they?

There was no way anyone would ever find out, James refused to let his dark secret become known to the entire wizarding world, or even just the population of Hogwarts. He knew that Dumbledore knew of what had happened to him, but he didn't want anyone else to know. They couldn't know, he would never be able to live it down.

The three boys soon entered the Great Hall for the Start of Term feast. James gazed around the massive hall, it hadn't changed at all since he had last set foot inside at the beginning of his fifth year.

No sooner had the three boys sat down; Professor McGonagall entered the hall with the new first years trailing nervously behind her. Not long after that, Dumbledore had stood to say his start of term speech, though James had tuned out for most of it, just like he used to. It was only when he heard his name that he started to listen again.

"…And James Potter, could I see you in my office after dinner, please," the old Headmaster gazed at James momentarily, along with most of the student body. "That is all, now let the feast begin."

"I wonder what he wants to see you about," said Sirius as nonchalantly as he could; though it was very obvious just how curious he was. It showed right through on his handsome face.

James shrugged and started picking at his food, he really wasn't that hungry, "I really have no idea,"

"Well, well, look whose back," said a female voice from just along the table. "How are you, James?"

James looked passed Remus, who was sitting on one side of him, to see Lily Evans with her Head Girl badge glinting in the candlelight. "I'm fine, thanks. You?"

Lily, who was clearly surprised by James' unusually pleasant manners, replied sweetly, "Good, thanks. Haven't seen you around for a while."

James shrugged again, "No you wouldn't have, seeing as I haven't been here and all."

Sirius smirked, ah now that was a bit more like the old James. "Oh stop flirting with him, Evans, it's sickening."

Lily raised an eyebrow at Sirius, "And you and your little boy toy snogging in the common room isn't?"

Sirius shook his head with a charming smile on his face; Remus at least had the decency to blush. "Of course not. Least we're getting some."

Lily glared at him before turning back to her giggling friends to tell them to 'shut up'.

Sirius snickered but he stopped immediately when Remus leaned around James and smacked him in the arm, "Ow…that time of the month already?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "No, but there's no need to tell everybody what we get up to in our dorm."

James smirked a little, he wasn't at all surprised that Sirius and Remus had hooked up during his absence, he had always thought there was more than just friendship between the two of them. He was happy for his friends though, neither of them had had easy lives, Sirius with his family and Remus with his lycanthropy, and it was obvious that they made each other happy.

……

A while later the feast had finished and James was on his way to Dumbledore's office. As he neared he saw the gargoyle jump aside and out came Lucius Malfoy from the secret door.

The blond professor gave James a curt nod, though his cold grey eyes were calculating. James felt like he was being sized up. "Potter, the Headmaster is waiting for you."

James nodded nervously, he had heard of the Malfoy heir's interest in the Dark Arts, and frankly that really unnerved him. "Ok, sir…" he walked passed Malfoy and onto the stairs that would take him up to the Headmaster's office. He could feel Malfoy's eyes on him before he disappeared from sight, just from that intent gaze he knew almost for certain that the blond knew about his past, but for now he tried to push that to the back of his mind. The door to Dumbledore's office was still open, but James cautiously knocked on it anyway. "Sir?"

"Ah, James, do close the door behind you and sit down," said the Headmaster from behind his desk where he had been reading something.

James closed the door and went and sat down in the big squishy chair that was in front of Dumbledore's desk, "What did you want to see me about, sir?"

Dumbledore finished reading what was on his desk before gazing at James over the top of his half moon spectacles, his blue eyes were kind and James definitely thought he saw some sympathy in them. "I received a letter from your grandparents before you arrived earlier this evening, there is no need to look so worried, my boy, they just thought it would be best to let me know how you have been coping the last two years," James nodded slowly. "Now tell me, how are you?"

"Ok, I guess," replied James quietly.

Dumbledore frowned a little, "Now, your grandmother said that you have been having nightmares since 'it' happened," James nodded in affirmation. "Just to make it a little easier on you, I have requested that Professor Malfoy make you a batch of Dreamless Sleep Potion to keep in your dormitory, and if you run out just ask him to make another batch. No need to look like that, James, Lucius can be rather accommodating when he needs to be, and he knows that I will be having words with him if he refuses to make this potion for you."

"Oh…ok…" James cracked his knuckles, it was a nervous habit of his that he couldn't shake. "W-what else did my gran say?"

Dumbledore sighed, "Well, she said that you have been doing extremely well with your school work so you are more than able to take the Advanced classes this year. She also mentioned that you are still against talking about what happened to you," James looked down at the ground. "I will not force you into talking to anybody, I assure you, James, but you do know that it might help you recover if you talk to somebody."

James nodded shakily, "I just…I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself…"

"Understandable," Dumbledore watched the young man in front of him for a few moments. He had always quite liked James, he was a good boy but he had had it hard with a father like the one he was born to. He knew the boy's childhood had been worse than that of some of the student's from Dark families, such as the Blacks for instance. "But if you ever do need to discuss it, my door will always be open, as will those of the other staff members. Professor McGonagall especially, as she is your Head of House."

James looked up at the old man and smiled slightly, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

Dumbledore smiled, "There is no need to thank me, I am quite happy to do it," he folded his hands on his lap. "This letter also says that Harry misses you a great deal already."

James smiled sadly, "I miss him too. I am able to go home for Christmas, right?"

"Of course," Dumbledore nodded. "Now, that is all I wanted to tell you, is there anything else you wish to talk about?"

James hesitated, "…N-yes, actually, there is," Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Um…wh-if people found out about why I left…what would happen? I mean, would I have to leave or could you memory charm them or something?"

Dumbledore thought for a moment, "I would not make you leave the school, for starters, as for who and how your past was found out, we would most likely have to deal with it if the occasion arises." James chewed his bottom lip nervously. "I am certain we will not have to deal with something like that happening, but I will never say never."

James nodded, "Ok, thank you."

……

A little while later James had entered Gryffindor common room, he had gotten the password (Black Bean Sauce) off Remus before he had gone to see Dumbledore. He gazed around the common room noting that it had also not changed a bit since he was last in it. He then headed to the stairs that would lead him up to the old dormitory that he had shared with his three best friends for the first four years of his time at Hogwarts.

"Hey James," said Sirius from where he was half hanging off his bed, his shoulder length hair was brushing against the floor and he had a sugar quill in his mouth. "What did Dumbledore want to see you about?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Sirius," started Remus from where he was reading a book on his bed. "Leave him alone."

James gave the brown haired boy a grateful smile, but he answered Sirius anyway, "He just wanted to see if I was able to settle back in easily and stuff, that's all." He went over to the only bed that hadn't been used in two years and took a flask out of one of the pockets in his robes. Professor Malfoy had delivered the last of his stock of Dreamless Sleep Potion to James before he had left Dumbledore's office. "Hey Peter, how are you?"

Peter Pettigrew was sprawled on his bed with a sugar quill in his mouth as well, "Fine thanks, sugar quill?"

James smirked and shook his head, "No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Where abouts in Ireland have you been?"

James raised his eyebrows at the blond boy.

"They told me," Peter pointed in the general direction of Sirius and Remus.

"I was in Dublin," replied James, "With my grandparents."

"Cool, I'm from Dublin-"

"Pete, you've been telling us that since we started school, I think we know by now," said Sirius before sitting up and becoming immediately dizzy from all the blood that had rushed to his head.

…

It was nearly midnight by the time the four old friends retreated to their beds. Remus, Sirius and Peter had been telling James a few tales of what had been going on without him around, tales about their various dismal attempts at pranking the Slytherins without James' brain behind them.

James was curled up in his bed gazing through the crack in one of the curtains out at the night sky. This year was going to be hard, especially if Sirius was going to continue questioning why he had left, at least Remus and Peter had decided not to bombard him with questions. There was also little Harry to consider, he would certainly miss the little fella, he already did miss him. He sat up a little so that he could have a bit of the Dreamless Sleep Potion, before settling back down to sleep. He couldn't be certain when his nightmares would strike, but it was usually when he was fairly happy, and Dumbledore had said that considering the content of the nightmares he should take the potion every night in case he woke any of his dorm mates up by sleep talking. Obviously his gran had also mentioned that he quite often sleep talked, _especially_ during those nightmares.

James soon drifted off to sleep, curious of how his first day of classes would be tomorrow.

……………………………………………………………………………………

**A/N:** How was that for a first chapter? Cryptic enough, or is James' past easy to guess? I know I'm not exactly subtle about it.

**Next Chapter:** James' first week of classes, and do the Slytherins know something about James' disappearance?


	2. Interrogation

****

Troubled Past

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much.

****

orlin: Yes I knew I'd get a few 'poor Jamie's' out of you in this story.

****

Goddess of Gorgeousness: Do I really add unexpected twists to things?

****

RoschLupin-Black: Aw now spelling it out would be giving it all away, you'll have to keep reading to find out about James **:-P**

****

BabyBoo0968: You guessed right…unfortunately **:-P**

****

inumoon3: James was not raped by a _Slytherin._ But you'll have to wait and see how it is found out…

****

CrazyForYou: Thanks for reviewing!

****

Alligator355: Glad you like it!

****

Marauder-Magick33: You'll have to wait and see who knocked him up.

****

EsScaper: Only Dumbledore, James and James' grandparents know who Harry is, and no the James/Lily relationship doesn't warrant a child because there is no James/Lily in this story. Where did Harry come from? You'll just have to wait and see.

****

Dasai-Konomi: Glad you like secrety stuff!

****

iamtherealmaverick: Who was it? Wait and see…

****

the-mpreg-spirit: Sure!

****

Ginny-and-Draco-fan: It probably is easy to guess what's wrong with James.

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

Chapter 2:_ Interrogation_

Before James had realised it, it was his fourth day of classes back at Hogwarts. He was currently sitting at Gryffindor Table with his friends for breakfast, reading a letter that he had just received from his gran along with a parcel full of sweets.

"Hey, Jay?"

James looked up at Sirius who was sitting opposite him, "Yeah?"

Sirius spoke as he piled bacon and scrambled eggs onto his plate; "Do you want to join back up with the Quidditch team?"

James raised his eyebrows; he had been called one of the best Quidditch Chasers Gryffindor had seen in a long time when he was last at the school. Quidditch was one thing he had truly missed while he was away. "Are you short a player?"

Sirius nodded, "One of our Chasers left last year, you up for it?"

"Yeah sure," replied James, he folded up his letter and tucked it into a pocket in his robes. "I'm a bit rusty though, I haven't played since I was here last." He had loved flying, on more than one occasion he had been told that he must have been born on a broom because he was such a natural when it came to flying. It was actually his grandfather that had taught him how to fly and how to play Quidditch, but then he had been mostly raised by his grandparents except at the times that his parents decided to spend some 'quality time' with their only son.

Sirius shrugged, "Well, we can go out on the pitch this weekend, I've already booked it. I can help you get back into practise."

James nodded, "Ok, thanks," Sirius still had not stopped questioning him about why he had left and why he was gone for so long, and things were already starting to get a bit tense in the Gryffindor Seventh Year Boys' dormitory. Remus was now trying to mediate the two old friends but it wasn't working that well, and just last night Sirius and James had had an argument. But this morning they were both trying to pretend that nothing had happened, though it was obvious to onlookers that there was a bit of tension between the two raven haired boys. "…So you're the captain, I take it?"

"Mmhmm," Sirius elbowed Remus in the ribs to stop him from falling asleep. "Made captain last year."

James nodded slowly, when he was younger he used to dream of becoming the Quidditch Captain for his House team, as well as becoming Head Boy, but now Sirius had gained the Team Captain spot and Remus had become Head Boy. He was happy for them but there was also a bit of jealousy there, he wished he had been able to have the chance to fight for those titles. The only person he could blame for taking that chance away from him was his father, and only his father. His grandparents said it and he felt exactly the same, it definitely wasn't little Harry's fault. _Never_ Harry's fault.

Remus yawned widely, he was absolutely terrible in the mornings, and if he weren't still half-asleep then he would be very snappish towards everyone until about lunchtime. "What have we got first?"

James checked his timetable, "Eh…Double Transfiguration and then Potions," he noticed Sirius giving him a funny look, and he knew why. He never used to know their lesson timetable, it used to only be Remus that was that concerned with school.

Very soon the three boys were seated in Transfiguration, James next to Sirius at the back of the classroom, and they were half listening to McGonagall give them a lecture. Well, Sirius was doodling on a piece of parchment, Remus was yawning every now and again and trying to take notes while James was, for once, vigilantly taking down every note he could.

James felt a nudge against his side and then he saw Sirius push a note over to him, he sighed and picked it up. Trust Sirius to do something like this to try and get the 'old James' back.

**__**

Very attentive now, aren't we, Potter?

James chanced a glance at Sirius who was watching him intently, those grey eyes calculating him suspiciously. He put his quill to the parchment and scribbled a quick note back.

__

Unlike some, I would like to actually graduate from school.

He heard Sirius give a snort upon reading his reply and a few seconds later another reply came.

**__**

You really have changed you little do-gooder.

James gazed at the note for a moment, he had been hoping that perhaps Sirius would be understanding towards him but obviously that was not going to happen. He glanced sadly at Sirius who was still watching him before he went back to his work, resting his head on his hand so that Sirius couldn't see his face. He did however scribble a quick reply back to Sirius, and he was finding it hard not to cry, but then he had been overly emotional ever since Harry had come along.

__

I'm sorry, Siri.

…

By the time the boys (minus Peter who didn't take NEWT level Potions) were heading down to the dungeons for potions Remus could tell there was something wrong with both Sirius and James. Sirius was frowning and he looked very deep in thought, barely noticing where his boyfriend was leading him – while James looked extremely miserable and on the verge of tears, which probably wasn't good as they were about to enter the potions classroom.

"Ha, can't believe your still showing your face around here, Potter," said one of the Slytherin boys from where they were waiting outside the locked potions classroom. "Shouldn't you be running back off to _daddy?"_

Sirius raised his eyebrows upon noticing just how much James flinched when the word 'daddy' was said. "Why don't you go find an inanimate object to shag, Nott."

Robert Nott sneered at Sirius, "Sticking up for your new toy, Sirius? My, my, does he come with baggage," he smirked cruelly at James who was trying to shrink into nothingness now.

"What the hell are you talking about, Nott?" snapped Sirius, his own sneer in place now.

The other Slytherins started murmuring amongst themselves and snickering as Nott continued talking, "Oh dear me, has he not told you, Sirius? Why, young James here-" he stopped talking abruptly when the classroom door opened.

"Get in there, the lot of you," said Professor Malfoy, he leaned against the wall beside the door as the students started filing in. When the line finally got to James, who was at the back, he stuck an arm out to stop the boy from going straight in. "I'd like a word with you after a class, Potter."

James nodded silently before ducking under Malfoy's arm and entering the classroom. He sat down at the back next to Remus who was between himself and Sirius, and he silently got his things out of his bag, determinedly keeping his eyes away from anyone's faces. A lot of people had heard what Nott was saying and he refused to let that Slytherin get the upper hand. But what was even more upsetting to him was the fact that the Slytherins all seemed to know something, it couldn't have just been by chance that Nott had mentioned his father like that.

"Right, the instructions are on the board. You have until the end of class to complete this potion, at which time I want a sample of each of your potions on my desk," said Professor Malfoy, he scanned the class briefly through narrowed silvery eyes before turning and sitting down at his desk.

Once the talking started up again and all the students set to making their potions Remus spoke quietly to James, "Are you all right?"

James continued to keep his gaze averted from either of his friends as he copied down the instructions for their potion, "I'm fine."

Remus frowned a little, he knew Sirius was straining to hear what James was saying as well, "You don't look it, James, do you know how pale you are now?"

James shrugged, "I'm fine, Remus, just leave it."

Remus sighed, he continued watching James for a few moments before turning to Sirius worriedly. His boyfriend's face was mirroring his own, James' reaction to Nott's comments had been very severe and they both silently agreed to find out what was wrong with James.

James chewed his bottom lip nervously, he could feel the eyes of several people glancing at him every now and again, but he forced himself to ignore that and what had happened out in the corridor.

A little while later, James had started glancing up at Professor Malfoy every now and again, the teacher had caught him looking on two occasions and James was almost positive that he had seen the glimmer of a smile on the man's face.

Now, James had never considered himself to be gay or even bisexual but he could certainly see the appeal in Lucius Malfoy. The man was undeniably very good looking, with his flawless pale skin and high cheekbones, those intense silvery eyes and especially that shoulder length white-blond hair. James felt that if he were to go after a man, Lucius Malfoy would probably be the holder of his affections. But he couldn't really think about his love life (or lack thereof) at the moment, there were more important things on his mind.

Finally though, class finished and James waited back like Malfoy had told him to, "Did I do something, sir?"

Malfoy indicated for him to come up to the desk, so James did, "No, guilty conscience?"

James shifted nervously on the spot, "I didn't think I'd done anything…"

"You haven't," reassured Malfoy, he pulled two flasks out of one of his desk drawers. "This one," he held up the bigger of the two flasks, "Is some more Dreamless Sleep Potion, as there was not much in the flask I gave you at the beginning of the term. And this one," he pointed to the smaller flask, "is a Nerve Calming Solution, I made this because it seems that you are very skittish right now."

James nodded, it was true, but he couldn't help it, especially now when he thought that his secret could be let out. "Thank you, professor," he tucked the two flasks inside his bag. "I appreciate it."

………

By that weekend James had suffered several more taunts from the Slytherins, though none of them had actually said exactly what James' secret was they were certainly giving a lot of hints. Any bright Hogwarts student would be able to put two and two together eventually, he just hoped that no one cared enough to do that.

………

James was laying on his bed in the dormitory staring up at the scarlet canopy over his bed one Saturday night a fortnight after the term had started. He was absolutely miserable, he didn't know how much longer he could suffer the jibes of the Slytherins, and he didn't know how much longer his secret would stay _secret._ Sirius was extremely suspicious now, he was asking questions at very random moments hoping to trick James into giving an answer other than 'None of your business'.

He sighed and sniffed, he wanted to go back home to his grandparents' house. He wanted to spend the evenings talking with them, or playing with Harry or his dog. He really missed Harry, he had never spent so much time away from the child, and he also missed his dog, Butterscotch, as well.

After a little while longer of stewing on his own, James heard the dormitory door open and close and then he heard someone mutter a locking a charm on it.

"James, talk to us."

James sighed; he had been half expecting an interrogation for a while now, "Talk about what?"

Sirius sat down on the end of his friend's bed, "You know about what. What are the Slytherins talking about? Obviously it is something that you don't want anybody to know about, judging by your reactions to them…" he watched James for a moment. "Please James, we want to help."

Sirius sounded extremely sincere but James still wasn't sure he wanted to say anything, "There's nothing you could do…"

Remus sat down on the bed as well; "You can still talk to us though, I mean, Peter isn't here because he didn't want to be around in case you and Siri started arguing again." James stayed silent and brooding. "…Why do the Slytherins keep making these cracks about your father? What did he do?"

James finally sat up, there were unshed tears in his eyes, he pulled his knees up to his chest and gazed down at the bit of bed between him and his friends, "You really want to know?" he spoke so quietly that the other two boys nearly missed it.

Sirius sat up straight, almost like he was on the alert, "Yes, we do." Remus nodded in agreement.

James looked between his best friends for a few moments, noting the curious and concerned looks on their eyes, before averting his gaze once again. It took a few more minutes for him to finally pluck up the courage to start his story, "…The reason I was taken out of school at the beginning of fifth year is because…m-my father…h-he raped me," Sirius' mouth dropped open. "…He got me pregnant…"

Sirius and Remus both sat there in stunned silence, their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide with shock.

****

To Be Continued…

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

A/N: Happened a little quicker than expected but that's the way I write it.

****

Next Chapter: James' Story. And will the Slytherins finally spill everything that they know?


	3. James's Story

****

Troubled Past

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much.

****

Thank yous: _the-mpreg-spirit, Alligator355, orlin, im no muggle, Sarahamanda, iamtherealmaverick, inumoon3, redrose2310, and BabyBoo0968._

****

Glad you all like this fic!

…

****

Warnings: Rape/incest talked about.

__

Also, just so I can keep Harry's birthday as the 31st of July, **male** pregnancies in this story last for **eleven** months.

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

Chapter 3:_ James's Story_

__

Sirius and Remus both sat there in stunned silence, their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide with shock.

James shifted uncomfortably under the shocked gazes of his friends, "You asked…"

Remus was the first to snap out of his shock, "Y…your father raped you," he stated, his voice was a little higher and he looked a little sickened from this news. James nodded slowly. "…When?"

James chewed his bottom lip nervously, and continued to look anywhere other than at his two shocked friends, "Its been happening since…since the summer before second year…"

Sirius finally snapped out of his shock-induced daze, but now his expression had turned to one of anger though it didn't really show through in his voice, which was unusually calm. "And this pregnancy? What happened with that?"

James didn't answer straight away, instead he leaned over to his bedside table and he pulled a framed photo out of a drawer and handed it to his friends, "My son."

Remus leaned closer to Sirius so that he could see the photo; it was a muggle one of James with a tiny baby wrapped in a blue blanket in his arms, and it appeared to have been taken the day that the child was born. "But…if he was the result of a rape…why didn't you have the baby terminated?"

"I couldn't bring myself to get it done," replied James quietly. He moved up against his headboard and folded his arms over his stomach. "Then not long after I was dragged away from school…my gran found out that its virtually impossible to abort or miscarry male pregnancies, because the only way that they can happen is with a potion…"

Sirius' fingernails were digging into his palm from how tightly his fists were balled; "Your father deliberately got you pregnant?"

"I guess so…"

Remus handed the photo back to James before speaking again, "When was he born?"

"The next summer, end of July," replied James, he noticed the confused looks his friends gave him. "Potion induced male pregnancies last for an eleven month gestation period, instead of the usual nine… It was the beginning of August before fifth year when i-it happened…"

"Oh James…"

James gave a small shrug and a grim smile, "I'm fine now…and my parents can't get near me now anyway. As soon as my grandparents found out what had happened they practically kidnapped me and moved to Ireland to protect me."

Sirius looked like he was forcing himself not to explode and track down Mr. Potter, "But what about getting your father arrested for what he's done? Why hasn't that happened?"

James smirked humourlessly, "You know his status in society, no one would believe that Edward Potter got his own son pregnant," he sounded spiteful but he did have a right to be. "Mind you, my granddad was nearly arrested for 'assault' because he bashed my father…"

Remus bit his bottom lip lightly before trying to change the subject a little, "So eh…what's the baby's name?"

James smiled a little, "Harry, Harry James Potter. My gran insisted on him having my name as middle name, 'tradition' apparently."

"And he's what, fourteen months old?"

"Nearly, yeah," James sighed. "…Is there anything else you want to know?"

Remus shook his head but Sirius looked thoughtful. A few moments later he finally spoke, "Yeah…why didn't you keep in touch? If you were with your grandparents, you could have owled us at least once a fortnight or something to let us know that you were all right. I was worried sick about you."

James frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, "I _did_ write to you. I should be asking why you two and Peter didn't bother keeping in touch with _me."_

Remus glanced between the two dark haired boys, sensing another argument was coming on, "James, we didn't receive any letters from you."

"What?" James was confused now. "I wrote to you guys every couple of days, I started to think you hated me because I never got any replies."

"Unless the owls were intercepted," said Sirius thoughtfully. "I mean, your parents were the ones that took you away, maybe they didn't want you communicating with anybody that actually cared about you."

"Maybe you're right," replied James, he rubbed his eyes under his glasses, then he rested his head back against the wall behind the head of his bed. "…I just wish I could have a normal life…"

Remus moved up the bed so he was sitting next to James, and he put an arm around the other boy, "You'll be fine now, Siri and I will be here for you," James put his head on Remus' shoulder and Sirius nodded in agreement. "And you're grandparents by the sounds of it."

Sirius moved to sit next to James as well, "Yeah, and if the Slytherins continue with what they're doing, we'll sort them out…or I will."

James gave them both a grateful smile, "Thank you, it means a lot."

…

Late that night, James was curled up in his bed, a small smile on his face. He was glad he had told Remus and Sirius, Dumbledore had been right when he said it might make him feel a bit better. He had been surprised at just how well the both of them had taken it as well, though he could tell that it had been taking all of Sirius' self control for the other black haired boy not explode in rage. They had both also seemed extremely interested in meeting Harry, so James was thinking that perhaps he could invite them to his grandparents for Christmas, as there was no way he was going to stay away from Harry any longer than he had to.

………

It was mid October before James was confronted by the Slytherins on his way back from the library one evening. He was completely alone because Sirius was sick and Remus had his Head Boy duties to get too.

"Well, well, little James Potter," said Robert Nott as he stepped out of the shadows and with his Slytherin cronies, they all successfully blocked James' way. "Out on your own?"

James froze on the spot; he used to be able to handle this particular group of Slytherins but not anymore. Especially now that he knew they could hold his secret over him. "Leave me alone, Nott."

Nott smirked at him, "Or else what? You have no friends around to fight for you, and you probably won't when they know about your little secret." He pushed James up against a wall and used his hands to hold the trembling boy in place.

James mustered up as much courage as he could, "For your information, _Nott,_ they already know about my 'little secret', as you put it. And guess what, I still have friends."

"Ah, so you have not told them the truth then?"

James narrowed his eyes slightly, he wanted to shout for help but with half a dozen armed Slytherins surrounding him, that didn't seem to be the best idea. "And what is the truth in your twisted little mind?" he was taken by surprise when Nott pressed right up against him. But that was when it struck in James' mind… _No, please not this again…_

Nott moved so his face was barely an inch from James', "Easy little slut aren't you, Potter? Sleep with anyone I hear, even family…" he stroked a hand down James' chest and stopped it just as he got to the waistband of James' trousers. "What will it be, eh? Be my little play toy or would you rather I tell everyone your little secret…"

James tried to struggle but Nott was bigger than he was, "Get away from me!"

The other Slytherins snickered sycophantically while Nott started to part the front of James' robes, chuckling as the other boy started struggling even more.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

The Slytherins all quickly jumped away from James, who slid down to the ground shaking and sobbing.

Lucius Malfoy strode swiftly along the corridor to where the group had formed, "Well? Explain yourselves."

"We were just having a little fun, Professor," replied Nott still smirking. "Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Lucius narrowed his eyes at them, "Get to your common room. I'll deal with you later." He watched the Slytherins saunter off down the corridor, after they had turned the corner he turned back to James. "Are you ok?"

James shook his head and kept his face buried in his hands, "…No…"

The blond professor frowned and crouched down next to the shaking boy; he prized James' hands away from his face so he could see the tear filled and red eyes of the teenager. "Did they hurt you?"

James sniffled and shook his head; "No…they would have though…"

Malfoy straightened up again, then he took James' hands and pulled the teenager back to his feet, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I want to go home…"

"Come on," The blond put a hand on James' back and led him along the corridor, "I think the Headmaster should be informed of what just happened."

James soon found himself in a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, Professor Malfoy was leaning against a bookcase, and Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk.

"Tell me, James, what happened this evening?" asked Dumbledore in concern, the last time he had seen this boy in this kind of state was when his parents had taken him out of school.

James nervously twisted his hands in his lap, "…The Slytherins ambushed me when I was leaving the library, and Nott, he…he pushed me up against the wall and he s-started touching me and saying I was a slut and stuff. He probably would have done more if Professor Malfoy didn't turn up… They've been taunting me since school started…they know."

Lucius frowned and glanced between James and Dumbledore. The Headmaster had informed the staff, before school had started, of what had happened to James, because he had visited with the Potters to see if James was ready to come back to school or not. It truly was horrifying what had happened to the poor boy, and Lucius could honestly empathise with him.

Dumbledore started speaking again, "Are you certain that they know, James? Could it not be that they are just bluffing?"

James sniffed, "It's not by chance that they keep making cracks about my father. And tonight Nott said that…that I was easy and that I would even sleep with…my family…" he folded his arms and practically hugged himself, the tears starting to stream down his cheeks. "…I just want to go home…"

Dumbledore thought for a moment, he glanced at Lucius and saw the concern in the young teacher's eyes, then he looked back to James, "I will contact your grandparents about what has been happening. In the mean time, I want you to get some rest, take a good dose of your Dreamless Sleep Potion and go to bed. As tomorrow is a Saturday, we can discuss this again. Gryffindor are not playing Quidditch tomorrow, are they?" James shook his head. "We will talk during the game then, in my office."

"OK…" James nodded meekly, he would rather go home now but if he had to get some sleep first he wouldn't complain.

Dumbledore turned back to the blond, "Lucius, would you escort James back to his common room, please."

Lucius nodded, "I will."

James shakily got back to his feet and allowed himself to be led out of Dumbledore's office and back to Gryffindor Tower.

"James, where have you been?" questioned Sirius when James entered the dorm that night.

James just went straight over to his bed, he drew the curtains around it and collapsed on it. He took his glasses off and buried his face into the pillow before he let the tears start to fall again.

Why did this have to happen to him? Could he not just have a normal, worry free school year, without being plagued constantly by memories of his father?

He then felt his bed move under the weight of someone else sitting down on it before he felt a comforting hand on his back.

"James, what happened?"

James sniffled, "I don't want to talk about it," the pillow muffled his voice. "Just let me sleep…"

"Ok, I'll check on you in the morning though."

"Whatever…"

………

The next morning saw James back in Dumbledore's office, he had his best friends at his side this time (for moral support), and his grandfather was also there. Professor Malfoy was also back, leaning against the bookcase once again. James was still as miserable as he had been last night, not wanting to look anyone in the face, he was still fairly eager to go home as well.

Dumbledore had already explained what had happened to James last night to his grandfather, Henry Potter, who was looking quite annoyed. "Now, one thing that needs to be discussed, is that James wishes to go home."

Sirius turned to look at James, his expression was that of a wounded puppy, "You can't go…we'll deal with the bastards."

Lucius snorted, "Somehow, I do not think that beating them up would help James' case."

Dumbledore shook his head, "No it wouldn't," he turned to Henry. "Now, if James still would like to go home, I think it would be fine for you to take him now, and he could continue with his schooling by correspondence again."

Henry nodded before looking to his grandson, "Well James, its up to you. Do you want come home with me?"

James chewed his bottom lip, "I would stay if I thought those idiots would leave me alone…can't you put some sort of restraining order on them or something?"

Dumbledore thought for a moment, "Well, what happened last night constitutes as sexual harassment, so we could definitely look into keeping Robert Nott away from you."

James nodded, "I just don't know… I want to stay because I'll be with my friends, but I don't want to stay because of the Slytherins…and because I miss Harry…"

Henry raised his eyebrows slightly, "How about you stick the weekend out and we'll see if you've made up your mind on Monday?"

James sighed and nodded, "Ok…"

……

James, Sirius and Remus were heading towards the Great Hall that evening for dinner. All afternoon Sirius had been sprouting off reasons for why he thought James should stay at Hogwarts, Remus had been trying to shut his boyfriend up to give James some peace and quiet, while James had been deep in thought about what he wanted to do. He did truly want to stay at Hogwarts but the one big thing that was making him want to go home was his son.

"Don't worry, James," said Sirius as they neared the doors to the Great Hall, which was unusually quiet. "They're probably too depressed about their loss to Ravenclaw to pick on you tonight."

"I hope so…"

As the three entered the Great Hall, which was lacking both noise and teachers, they stopped dead.

There on the wall behind the Slytherin Table was a huge banner, and written on it in big red and gold letters was:

****

JAMES 'EASY' POTTER – WILL SHAG HIS OWN FATHER

James was absolutely mortified. He stood there staring at the banner for a few moments, nearly every pair of eyes in the Great Hall were on him, then he just turned and fled.

"James!" shouted Sirius he attempted to go after his friend but Remus grabbed him.

"Let him be on his own for a while…"

****

To Be Continued…

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

A/N: Hehe, another cliffie!! I know, poor James and I'm evil.

****

Next Chapter: The secret is out, where is James?


	4. Infront of the Fire

****

Troubled Past

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much, except Henry and Elizabeth Potter.

****

Thank yous: _the-mpreg-spirit, inumoon3, Launigsiae, Sarahamanda, orlin, Alligator355, BabyBoo0968, redrose2310, catseye348, Ginny-and-Draco-fan, iamtherealmaverick, CountingSheep123, im no muggle, and Goddess of Gorgeousness._

……

…_(Hides from the angry James Fan mob)…_ **Sorry?**

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

On a good note, the _Half-Blood Prince_ will be released on the 16th of July, 2005.

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

Chapter 4:_ Infront of the Fire_

It was getting late the same night that the Slytherins had put the banner in the Great Hall up. After the teachers had arrived in the hall for dinner, they had gotten rid of it and immediately put the whole of Slytherin House in detention because nobody would own up to it. After dinner Sirius and Remus, with the help of McGonagall, Malfoy and Lily Evans, went searching for James, but none of them had found him. Sirius and Remus had searched their magical map of the school and its grounds to find him but he hadn't shown up on there either, and as far as they knew, there was no way to stop yourself from showing up on it.

Sirius collapsed on the couch in the empty Gryffindor Common Room just after midnight, he rested his head on Remus's lap and sighed. "Where do you think he could be?"

"I have no idea…" replied Remus as he started threading his fingers gently through Sirius's dark hair. "I'm really worried now."

"Me too," Sirius was about to say something else when someone from behind the couch cleared their throat.

"Do you two mind telling me what that was all about?" Lily Evans came around the couch and sat down in an armchair. She had tried asking them both earlier but they wouldn't tell her.

Sirius grumbled and sat up, "You're not going to leave us alone until we do, are you?"

Lily frowned, "Well obviously something happened to him to make him leave school at the beginning of fifth year, and I've been watching him since school started and he has changed. He's nervous, he looks permanently spooked, he's so quiet and shy all of a sudden, and he flinches and looks close to tears every time the Slytherins make jokes about his father." She looked between Remus and Sirius. "I want to help."

Sirius sighed, he looked to Remus who nodded before turning back to Lily, "Move closer, so we don't have to talk so loud," Lily pulled her armchair closer to the two of them. "First off, James has had a shitty life…"

And for the next hour Remus and Sirius both retold the story James had told them to Lily, who if possible, had gone even paler than she naturally was. By the time they had finished, Sirius was practically steaming from the anger that had built up in him again, Remus looked disgusted and Lily looked like she was about to throw up.

"…That sick bastard…" Lily put her hand up to her mouth, her green eyes wide with shock at what she had just heard.

Remus nodded in agreement, "And he still hasn't been brought to justice."

Lily slouched in her chair and pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself, "I can't believe it…he always used to be so happy, yet he was hiding all of that…"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "And now he's run off and we have no idea where he could have gone. Malfoy and McGonagall are still out looking, they sent us back here because we're not allowed outside school grounds."

"Does Peter know?"

Sirius shook his head, "No he doesn't. He's iffy enough as it is with me and Rem being together, I doubt he'd be able to handle James's true past."

Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust, "And his mother didn't do anything to stop it?"

"Apparently not," replied Remus quietly. "I think his grandparents only found out after his was taken out of school, right?"

"Yeah, from what I gather," Sirius stifled a big yawn.

Lily frowned, "We should all get some sleep. We're not going to be any use to anyone if we're all too tired to continue looking for James tomorrow, if he hasn't returned by then."

"You're right."

…

After James had fled the Great Hall, he had gotten his Invisibility Cloak from the dormitory and then he had run out of the school. He did not want to be found, not now, now that everyone knew. He just could not face anybody, they would all hate him, he just knew they would.

James was sitting under his Invisibility Cloak on a hill outside of Hogsmeade, gazing up the stars and trying not to cry. He didn't know what to do, should he go back to the school or should he just run as far away as he can? Right now, he was also completely confused as to whether he should stay at the school or go home as well. If he stayed he would be picked on even more, if he left then the Slytherins would know that they had frightened him off, they would insult him even without him being around.

What was there that was really keeping him at Hogwarts anyway? Sure, he had fun with his friends, he was happy to be back around them and it was a bit easier to learn with other people around as well. But that was all really, wasn't it?

No, there was Lucius Malfoy as well.

James couldn't help but watch that man in potions, at mealtimes and even just when the blond was wandering absentmindedly around the school. Remus had noticed James staring and he said that he looked very 'love struck'. He couldn't help but think that Remus was right.

Was he really falling for Professor Lucius Malfoy?

………

By three in the morning, Lucius and Minerva had given up their search and traipsed back to the staffroom where Dumbledore was currently at.

"Any luck?"

Lucius fell down into an armchair and closed his eyes, "None. Looked everywhere."

Minerva sat down in her favourite chair and sighed, "The boy has just disappeared. Hagrid is searching the Forbidden Forest, I hope he hasn't gone in there, and we asked Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks to ask around the all night punters to see if they had seen him. But you know how it is, Albus, if he doesn't want to be found then he probably won't be."

"That is what worries me," said Dumbledore, he handed Lucius and Minerva a cup of hot chocolate each. "I have informed his grandparents of what happened, I expect a reply will be here by breakfast time."

"What makes me wonder," started Minerva almost coldly, "Is how the Slytherins found out about it in the first place."

"I am wondering that also," said Dumbledore in agreement.

Lucius huffed, "It wouldn't surprise me if that bastard bragged about it. If he is in with Voldemort like you think he is, then he probably promised James to the Death Eaters, _after_ he had screwed the poor kid over, of course."

Dumbledore frowned a little; Lucius had been extremely spiteful ever since he had told the staff of James's predicament in the summer. Though it was understandable, Lucius himself, hadn't been treated too kindly by his own father, who did happen to be a Death Eater. He had noticed however, that his youngest teacher seemed to have taken quite a shine to young James Potter.

………

Lunchtime of the next day saw Sirius, Remus and Lily searching the school grounds for James again, while Dumbledore and McGonagall consoled James's grandparents in the Headmaster's office. Professor Malfoy was out searching the surrounding areas of Hogsmeade.

At breakfast that morning the whole school had been talking about the Slytherins' banner, and a lot of students had been trying to ask Sirius and Remus what they knew about it. Eventually Sirius and Remus had given up on trying to eat their breakfast and they had allowed Lily to drag them out of the Great Hall to the relative safety of the Hogwarts' Grounds.

Lily sat down on a rock beside the lake and sighed, "You know, I think if he really didn't want to be found he probably ran all night until he was a few miles away from this place. I know that's what I'd do…"

Sirius groaned and fell down on the rock; "You're not lessening my worry."

"Sorry."

Remus sat down and rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, "Merlin, I hope he comes back. I mean, he can't run forever, and he has Harry, the kid needs him."

Lily nodded in agreement, "I wonder if Professor Malfoy has had any luck," she looked over her shoulder towards the school gates where the blond professor had just come from. "There he is now."

The three of them got up and headed towards their professor, just as it started to rain.

"Any luck, Professor?" asked Lily hopefully.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "Does it look like I have him with me?" he wasn't annoyed at the question, he was just very tired. He hadn't slept all last night, he had gone to bed at four in the morning and just lay staring at the canopy above his bed until breakfast time, all because he truly was worried about James. "I suppose he may come back in his own time. Now come on, inside, you three."

Sirius, Remus and Lily trudged into the Entrance Hall with the potions professor following.

Lucius headed straight to Dumbledore's office like he had been told to when he finished searching, though he hadn't finished, he had only come back to the school because he had been hungry. So the young teacher headed up to the Headmaster's office and knocked on the door, as soon as he was given a reply he entered.

"Ah Lucius, no luck?"

Lucius shook his head, "None. I've looked everywhere that I can think of in about a two-mile radius of this place," he glanced at the other occupants of the office, James's grandparents. The boy's grandmother however, was holding a small dark haired child. _That must be James's son…_ "I'm going to go and look around again after I've had some lunch."

"Have these students been dealt with?" asked Henry, a frown planted firmly on his face, and he was holding his wife's hand.

Dumbledore nodded, "They have."

Lucius snorted, "Still think you should have let me kill them."

"Lucius is the Slytherin Head of House," said Dumbledore to the shocked looks of the Potters. "And from what I have been able to tell, he and James have been getting on quite well, have you not?"

Lucius nodded and stifled a yawn, "Yeah, we have been."

………

"Might as well face it, he's not coming back, is he?" said Sirius miserably late that night after dinner. He, Remus and Lily were in one corner of the common room with the Marauders' Map between them, and though Lily was usually very rule abiding, she couldn't help but be in awe of the map.

"We don't know that for sure, Sirius," replied Lily, she scanned the map around the Hogwarts lake and gasped suddenly. "There he is."

"What?" Remus and Sirius leaned over the map and looked to where Lily was pointing.

Sirius started to get up but Remus pulled him back down, "What are you doing?"

"Professor Malfoy will probably see him, he's just re-entered the grounds," said Remus, keeping a firm grip on Sirius's wrist. "Anyway, what's to say he actually wants to be found by us?"

Sirius sighed and slumped against his boyfriend, "Fine…"

…

Lucius had just returned from an evening of searching for James, he was cold, wet, tired and hungry and it didn't help that it had just started pouring with rain again. He trudged back across the Hogwarts grounds, gazing around as he went, he was so deep within his own thoughts that he nearly missed the figure over by the lake. He stopped and squinted at the person, he could just make them out in the half moon light, and there was definitely a lot of messy hair on top of that head. It was James. He knew it.

Lucius set off over the grounds to the lake, the hem of his robes and trousers were getting drenched from the boggy grass and he was starting to soak through from the rain. As he neared the young man sitting on a rock beside the lake, he could see him shaking either from the cold or his misery. He soon stopped just behind the boy and spoke, "James."

James jumped and spun around, he hadn't realised there was anybody behind him, "…P-professor…" he was wet and he was absolutely freezing but he refused to go inside, he just knew there would be someone around to taunt him.

Lucius shook his head slowly, "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea the worry you have put us all through?"

James shrugged a little and sniffled, "W-what do you care? N-no one does…"

Lucius swore quietly, "Oh Merlin, just come inside."

"No."

Lucius narrowed his eyes slightly, why were Gryffindors always so bloody stubborn? "Do not make me use force, James."

James stayed determinedly sat on the big rock, shivering with his arms wrapped around himself, "I'm not g-going in…"

Lucius growled quietly, he did not like being disobeyed. He grabbed James by the arms and pulled the boy up, before almost bodily dragging him towards the school, protesting loudly.

"Let go of me!"

"Don't be so stupid," snapped Lucius, a tight grip on one of James's arms. "You are going to catch your death out here."

James finally managed to break free of his professor's grip by the time that they had reached the huge entrance doors at the top of the stone steps. "…I'm not going in…I-I can't f-face it…"

Lucius sighed and surveyed the boy before him. James looked very pale, his black hair flattened against his head from the wet, he was shaking and there were obvious tears in his brown eyes. "All right, come down to my quarters so that we can at least get you dry."

James sniffled and nodded his head shakily, "O-ok…"

Lucius pushed the doors open and pushed James into the entrance hall. He then put a hand on James's back and led him down into the dungeons to his quarters, which were adjacent to his office. Once they were in the living room of his quarters where the fire was roaring with life (Lucius was thankful the school had House-elves) he turned to James, "Strip off."

"What?"

Lucius rolled his eyes, "You are not going to get any warmer if you keep those clothes on. I won't look if it bothers you." He headed off into his bathroom and grabbed a couple of towels then he grabbed a spare blanket from the bedroom and took them back out to James who had heeded his advice and stripped down to his boxers. He crouched down in front of the boy, who was sitting on the hearth shivering in front of the fire, and draped a towel around his shoulders.

"Th-thank you…" James pulled the towel tightly around himself and allowed his professor to wrap the blanket around him as well.

"No problem."

James took his glasses off and wiped the film of water off them, "W-why are you being so nice to me?"

Lucius raised his eyebrows slightly, he pulled a footrest over in front of the fire and sat down on it in front of James, "Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't like you."

James was still shivering despite the fact that he was barely a foot away from the roaring fire in his potion professor's quarters, "Not many ex-Slytherins would be this nice to someone that they used to take points from for their general existence."

Lucius smirked, "Well, I will admit I was an absolute prat in my seventh year here," James gave a shaky smile. "Anyway, you know you are going to have to face everyone sooner or later, don't you?"

James looked down at the ground between them, "…I can't…th-they'll make fun of me…"

Lucius sighed and moved down onto the hearth next to James, he was still in his wet clothes but they were starting to dry out now he was in front of the fire, "James, you can't stay in here forever." James shrugged. "You're grandparents are here, you know? Dumbledore owled them last night and they were here by breakfast time, they are incredibly worried about you."

"They can take me home then…" James's voice broke half way through his sentence and then he felt the tears start to fall again.

Lucius went almost completely against what his mind was telling him and he pulled James into his arms, he couldn't just let the boy cry on his own now could he? He pulled James against him and rested his chin on top of the teenager's head, "Sh, its ok…" Honestly, what did you say to a crying teenage boy that's been through as much as James has? Lucius certainly wasn't sure, he had never had to console someone like this before, and he had certainly never been comforted by anybody after his childhood traumas. What Lucius really wanted to do was the hold James and to kiss his worries away…

__

Where the hell did that come from? Thought Lucius in surprise at his own feelings. Sure, James was certainly an intelligent and attractive young man, and his dramatic past was rather appealing to Lucius for some bizarre reason, but the boy was his student. His barely seventeen-year-old student, who had been through a lot and probably did not want to be molested by his potions professor.

Instead, Lucius settled for tentatively running his fingers through James's damp black hair and rubbing the boy's back, vaguely hoping that he wouldn't do something stupid to jeopardise James's trust in him.

…

Sirius was staring blankly at the Marauders' Map, "Where has he taken James and why are they so close together?"

Remus shrugged unhelpfully, "I have no idea."

"Maybe professor Malfoy is just trying to comfort him?" suggested Lily uncertainly. "I mean, he wouldn't do anything else, would he?"

"Of course he wouldn't," replied Remus dismissively.

"Better not or I'll kill him," grumbled Sirius, narrowing his grey eyes at the dot on the map that said 'Lucius Malfoy'.

…

Once James had calmed down a bit, around midnight, Lucius pulled away slightly so that he could see the boy's tearstained face, "Are you hungry?"

James sniffed and wiped his eyes before nodding, "Yeah…"

"Ok. Iggy!" Lucius called the Hogwarts house-elf that he was the most familiar with, within seconds the small creature in a toga with the Hogwarts crest on appeared in front of them.

"Yes professor sir?"

"Get James whatever it is that he wants, and then stay with him until I come back from the Headmaster's office." Iggy nodded her head enthusiastically. Lucius looked back to James, "Will you be all right while I go and speak with the

Headmaster?"

James nodded, "Will he make me go back to my dorm?"

Lucius frowned a little, "Would you rather I tell him that you don't want to see anyone else for the evening?"

"Please."

"Ok," Lucius untangled himself from James's body and got back to his feet, "I'll be back soon." With that he left his quarters and headed up to Dumbledore's office, where he could hear voices from inside upon nearing it. He knocked tentatively on the door and waited for a reply before entering. Upon entering he could see that James's grandparents were extremely irritated now.

"Any news, Lucius?"

Lucius nodded, "Yeah, I found James a little while ago nearly drowning in the rain." James's grandmother brightened up a little. "He um, he doesn't want to see anybody at the moment. I promised I'd let him stay down in my quarters for the night, if that's all right with you all?" So that was a bit of a lie but he really didn't think James was in a state to be around people that didn't understand at the moment, his Housemates mostly.

"Is he all right?" asked Elizabeth Potter anxiously.

Lucius nodded, "He's had a good cry and I've asked a house-elf to get him something to eat, he's still pretty set on going home as well, I think."

"As long as he's all right now," said Elizabeth sighing with relief. "Do you have any idea where he disappeared to?"

"In between the pleads to go home and the crying I haven't gotten much else out of him," replied Lucius, "I can try though."

"Might be best if you do," said Dumbledore, "Thank you for letting us know, Lucius."

Lucius gave a curt nod, "No problem,"

After Lucius had left Henry Potter spoke, "Is that one really a Malfoy?"

Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "Lucius is definitely a pleasant improvement on his father and older brother, I must say. I also think that James may benefit from talking with Lucius actually, neither of them have been treated kindly by their fathers, though James I am certain has suffered far more."

"Maybe it will be good for Jamie to speak with someone who understands what he has been through," said Elizabeth uncertainly. "So we will try and talk with him tomorrow, yes?"

"I should think so," agreed Dumbledore.

…

When Lucius got back to his quarters he found James curled up fast asleep on his couch with the blanket over him and Iggy watching over him. "Thank you for staying with him, Iggy."

"Iggy is glad to do it, sir," replied the little house-elf, as she hopped off the coffee table where James's untouched sandwich was sitting on a plate. "Master James was asleep when Iggy got back, sir."

"Ok," Lucius nodded and the house-elf disappeared with a _'pop'._ He looked back to James who seemed to be sleeping quite peacefully, he went to his bedroom and found a spare quilt to throw over James just in case he got cold, which wouldn't surprising if he had spent the last twenty four hours out in the cold and rain.

The blond yawned and stretched, he was so tired and he knew he would have to be up before seven in the morning to carry out his usual daily routine, so he extinguished the torches in the living area and headed for bed.

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

A/N: Your Christmas Present from Icarus! Don't worry, this is to show you that things are starting to look up for Jamie.

****

Next Chapter: James's grandparents stick around at school for a little while to make sure he is all right. And little Harry makes his first proper appearance!


	5. Sweet Dreams

****

Troubled Past

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much, except for Henry and Elizabeth Potter.

****

Thank yous:_ Ginny-and-Draco-fan, Launigsiae, im no muggle, Sarahamanda, Alligator355, iamtherealmaverick, EsScaper, Goddess of Gorgeousness, orlin, redrose2310, the-mpreg-spirit, Beth5572, and Kenji._

****

EsScaper: Ha yeah, I definitely thought I would try and pan the Lucius/James relationship out more for this story. I was originally going to have Lucius kiss James on the head last chapter but I decided against that, as you could tell.

****

Kenji: What? There aren't going to be that many chapters.

****

Oh yeah, I think a little while ago, someone asked me what type of dog James's dog, Butterscotch, was. Butterscotch is a Golden Retriever.

****

This chapter starts the Tuesday afternoon after James was found by Lucius.

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

Chapter 5:_ Sweet Dreams_

"Let that be a lesson to you, you little brat growled Edward Potter, master of the Potter Mansion in Lincolnshire, to his seventeen year old son. He gave the naked, sniffling boy a distasteful look before leaving the dormitory and slamming the door behind him.

James curled up on his side, shivering, naked and bleeding from his father's abuse. He let out a choked sob; he just could not understand how his father had gotten into Hogwarts to do this to him again. All he had ever wanted was for it to stop, the pain to stop, the heartache to stop, and all he needed right now was for someone to help him forget all his horrid memories and to hold him and make it all go away.

That wasn't going to happen to him, he could knew it, but it was his fairy tale ending, if he ever got to have one. Someone nice and caring and loving to settle down with, someone who wouldn't mind helping him take care of his little son.

The boy curled up in the middle of the bed in his special dormitory and burst into tears, he cried and he cried until he thought that he couldn't cry anymore. When he finally started, he just lay there in a sore and naked huddle on the bed, sniffling and hiccuping every few seconds.

James felt completely alone in the world, or at least he did until he felt the bed move and a cool hand on his bare side. He whimpered and curled up as tight as he could, surely his father didn't want another round.

"James…"

James's breath hitched, he recognised that voice. But it couldn't be, could it?

"James, it's all right, you will be ok now," said the man behind him. "You're father was arrested upon leaving this part of the castle, he is going to Azkaban so he can never harm you again."

"P-professor?"

"Call me Lucius."

James sniffled and nodded shakily as he felt a blanket being put over him by his blond professor. He finally turned his head to look at the man who had been so kind to him since school had started, and upon laying his eyes on the handsome face of his professor, he saw the great amount of concern in those silvery grey eyes. "I-is he r-really gone?"

"He is," Lucius helped James sit up, and then he wrapped his arms around the shaking teenager. "Sh, its ok, I'm here now…"

James clutched at the older man's robes and buried his face against the blond's shoulder, he didn't want to let go, the object of his affections' warm body against his own was an extremely pleasant change from his terrible father's. He didn't know who long they stayed like this, though he was glad he didn't have to let go and his professor certainly didn't seem to mind having a miserable, naked teenage boy in his arms. But James finally lifted his head so that he could see the other man's face, "…Thank you…"

Lucius pulled a handkerchief out of one of his robe pockets and used it to dab the tears away from James's tear induced red, puffy eyes, "I'm glad to do it. You're friends saw him enter the grounds on that bloody map of theirs, and they told me, but I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt again so I told them to inform Dumbledore and I came straight here." He pressed a gentle kiss to James's forehead. "I will not ever let anything happen to you again, I'll protect you with my life if I have to."

James smiled, he could hardly believe this was happening, so much so that he tentatively touched his lips to those of his professor. Upon realising what he was doing he started to pull away but he felt Lucius return the gentle kiss before pulling away a little. "…I-I'm sorry, I-" he was cut off by the blond pressing a finger to his lips.

"Don't be sorry," whispered Lucius, "Its not every day a student that I have really come to like throws himself at me."

James blushed a little; at least he knew his feelings weren't unrequited anymore. Just as Lucius's lips moved back against his…

James Potter was startled awake by the sound of somebody hammering on the door to the private dormitory he had been given to stay in for a while. He rolled over and groaned, so it had all been a dream, if only he could have dreamt the rest of the snog that he felt sure had been about to happen. "Go 'way!"

"But Jamie! We miss you!"

James groaned again, he hadn't seen or spoken to his friends since he had run off on Saturday night, so it wasn't a great shock that they had found out where he was staying at the at last, "Fine, come in." He couldn't be doing with Sirius's whiny voice complaining through the door. He stayed curled up on his side in the centre of the bed as the door opened and in came Remus, Sirius and, much to James's surprise, Lily Evans.

Lily noticed James's surprised look towards her, "I bullied them into telling me, sorry."

James sat up a little and reached for his glasses, "Don't worry about it, you haven't run in the opposite direction yet, so that's good news." He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "How'd you find me?"

Remus smirked and sat down on the bed, "Sirius charmed it out of McGonagall, and then he…flirted with your grandmother until she let us in…"

James wrinkled his nose at the other dark haired boy, "You're sick, you know that?"

Sirius gave James the best innocent look he could conjure up, "Moi?" James nodded. "Well she wouldn't let us in, she thought we were here to taunt you about what happened."

James smiled slightly, "I probably should have warned her, she's just trying to protect me."

"Fair enough," Lily sat down on the bed, "You realise classes have finished for today, don't you?"

James blinked and looked at the clock, "Man, I must've been tired after last night."

"What happened last night?"

James forced himself to sit right up against the headboard, "My grandparents and I were talking with Dumbledore till about three this morning, about what I planned to do now and everything."

Sirius settled down on the bed across James's feet, his head propped on one hand, "And what are you going to do?"

"I haven't decided," replied James looking down at his lap. "I don't know whether to stay or to go home. Mainly, I want to stay because I missed you guys before, and I want to go because its not easy being away from your kid for the first time in over a year."

Lily smiled, "Can we meet him?"

It took a moment for it to click in on James's brain about what she meant, but once he understood he nodded and got out of bed, "I'll be back in a minute." With that, he left the room and went in search of his son.

"He seems pretty normal at the moment, don't you think?" said Sirius after James had left.

"He could just be trying to mask his feelings," suggested Remus as he gazed around the private dormitory.

Lily nodded in agreement, "Or he could just be too tired to bother with it all at the moment."

James soon returned holding a giggling little boy on his hip, "God you're heavy, what have they been feeding you, eh?" he asked his son as he plonked the little boy down on the bed. "Sirius, Remus, Lily, meet Harry."

"Heddo!" Harry reached a hand out and waved it at the other three teenagers, and he squealed when he was pulled onto his dad's lap.

Lily shook the still outstretched hand of the little tyke, "Hey Harry. How are you?"

Harry giggled before he pressed his face against James's chest.

"He's a little shy," said James affectionately as he held his son close. "And Sirius is probably scaring him."

Sirius opened his mouth in offense; "I am not. It's probably your hair."

James smirked, "He's seen me looking worse than this, haven't you, Har?" Harry clutched at James's T-shirt and cuddled into his teenager father's body. "So…what's the gossip?" he immediately noticed his friends were looking anywhere but at him. "Come on, tell me, it can't be any worse than what I've already thought up."

Remus sighed, "Well, good news is, the Slytherins have taken a vow silence on the matter, ever since their charming little banner was taken down on Saturday night."

"And the bad news?"

"The bad news," started Lily, "Is that there are plentiful variations of the truth, all of which have been taken from the banner and what people have heard the Slytherins saying to you since school started."

"Oh, lovely…" James sighed and hugged Harry, who seemed pretty set on stayin on his lap for the rest of the day.

Sirius thought for a moment before looking back to James, "Where did Malfoy take you Sunday night?"

James raised his eyebrows slightly, "To his quarters so I could dry off. But after he left to go and tell Dumbledore I was back, I fell asleep on his couch and didn't wake up again until yesterday afternoon."

"And he didn't kick you out?"

James shook his head, "No, he was fine with it. He's not as bad as you think he is, you know?"

Sirius huffed, "I grew up around the Malfoys, none of them were ever nice to me."

James rolled his eyes, ever since he had first met Sirius, the other boy had been going on about how evil the Malfoy family was and how the Head Boy in their first year was an absolute prick. "Suit yourself."

"I will."

Remus and Lily shared a long-suffering look.

………

James was curled up in an armchair in the common room of the tower his grandparents were staying in while they were watching over him, he had Harry tucked between himself and an arm of the chair and he was reading his son a story.

"Jamie, sweetie, eat something," said Elizabeth looking over her book at her grandson.

"Not hungry," mumbled James, as he pointed out a picture to Harry. "Can you say that, Harry? _Chicken."_

Elizabeth sighed, her grandson could be so stubborn sometimes, and though it sickened her to think about the man, James's stubborn ways did remind her of her son, Edward. "James, you have not eaten since Saturday lunchtime. I don't want to have to use brute strength but I will force it down your throat if you don't eat something now."

James scowled at his grandmother, "I said I'm _not_ hungry… I can't stomach anything…"

Henry sighed, James was only like this when he was upset or he had just had a nightmare, "Did you have a nightmare?"

James chewed his bottom lip and nodded meekly; "Yeah…well…it started out horrible but it brightened up right when my friends woke me up."

Elizabeth frowned, "Even so, you need to eat. You'll make yourself ill if you don't, and I do not want a repeat of last year."

James flinched a little. Last year he had been too depressed to do much after Harry had been born, including eat, which had resulted in him collapsing after a fortnight of hardly eating and he had ended up in an Irish hospital. "I'll eat tomorrow…just don't want anything right now…" he deliberately avoided looking in his grandparents' direction, and instead he looked down at his son who was starting to yawn. "You tired, little man? Come on." He got up and picked Harry up. "Say goodnight, Har."

"Nigh' nigh'." Harry yawned again and rested his little head on his dad's shoulder as he was carried to his makeshift nursery.

After he had put his son down to sleep, tucking him in and giving him a goodnight kiss on the head, James headed back to his temporary dorm and fell down on the bed. He curled up on his side and gazed out of the window just across from the bed, wondering about the dream he had had earlier today before his friends had woken him up.

What did it mean? Did it really mean that he had fallen for his Professor? Or did he just feel this way because Lucius was one of the only people that had been that kind to him without a question about his past?

That was something else that bothered the teenager, all his other teacher since he had restarted school had kept him behind after class on several occasions to ask him how he was and how he was getting on. Where as Professor Malfoy, whose couch he had passed out on the other night, hadn't questioned anything about him, he hadn't even vaguely hinted about his past other than the night he had rescued James from the Slytherins. James wasn't stupid, he knew full well that Dumbledore had informed the staff of what had happened to him, and they were all curious, even the ones that hadn't been too fond of him when he was at Hogwarts the last time. But Malfoy was different, he seemed to share a silent understanding with James, or at least, that's how the young Gryffindor found it. Perhaps his professor knew that he would prefer not to be reminded.

Or perhaps James had more in common with his professor than he thought…

……………………………………………………………………………………

****

A/N: Um, abrupt ending, I know, but I couldn't think of what else to put. Sorry! Oh, and I know Harry didn't really feature much, but he will in the Christmas chapter, which will probably be Chapter 7.

****

Next Chapter: James gets to know his blond professor better.


	6. Knowing You

****

Troubled Past

Disclaimer: Not a lot of this stuff is mine.

****

Thank yous: _iamtherealmaverick, the-mpreg-spirit, orlin, im no muggle, RoschLupin-Black, Goddess of Gorgeousness, LiLy MaLfOy13, sophie, Beth5572, katriena, Shinigami, MionePotter2U, redrose2310,_ _KAT15, _and _Aia Angel._

****

MionePotter2U: Harry has James's brown eyes in this. Potters don't tend to have green eyes in many of my fics.

****

Right, there is a death wish for Edward Potter, so, I may follow through with that or I may not.

I am going to try and pace the Lucius/James relationship as much as I can, but I'm not very good pacing…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

****

Chapter 6:_ Knowing You_

It was mid-November now and the gossip around the school about James had not lessened much, even after the Headmaster had asked for it to stop during a feast one night. But even so, the seventeen-year-old Gryffindor was soldiering on, he now refused to go home or let the gossips and Slytherins get the better of him. Sirius, Remus and Lily were sticking by James's side like glue, and with both the Head Boy and Head Girl as close friends, a lot of people were given detentions for picking on James when Remus and Lily were nearby. Sirius, of course, tended to go more for the violence to stop the gossiping and taunting than just telling someone in authority about it. Though James didn't originally want his friends to fight his battles for him, he did truly appreciate what they were doing for him, the same with the teachers. A lot of the teachers were on James's side as well, especially Professor Malfoy, nobody would even mention James's name around the blond professor in case they were yelled at.

Things really were starting to look up for young James Potter. He was getting good grades in school, he had great friends, he wasn't as much of a focal point as he had been a month previous, he was keeping in regular contact with his grandparents who updated him on Harry every letter. On top of that, he was becoming quite attached to his Potions professor whom he had been helping out a lot recently.

…………

"James, if you do that, you're going to end up blowing up the dungeon," said Lucius in reply to James's potion mixture suggestions, which really were some horribly stupid ideas, and he felt sure that James knew that.

James gazed blankly at his professor, "Your point?"

Lucius rolled his eyes and went back to marking the essays he had just remembered about, one of his classes had been waiting nearly a fortnight for their results. "I happen to like it down here, and anyway, if you blew the dungeon up the entire school would cave in on itself."

James sat down across the desk from Lucius and frowned a little, "What about the Slytherin common room? Can I blow that up while they're all in there?"

Lucius smirked, "Now a contained blast we could probably handle."

"Is that a yes?"

"No, it is not," replied Lucius, he glanced up at the dark haired boy opposite him. He could see why some of the teachers had disliked James before he had been taken out of school, the boy really could be a talkative and cheeky little git when he opened up to you. "I know how much you would love to do that, but do digress, you're giving me ideas."

"That is what I was aiming for, _Professor,"_ replied James, emphasising 'professor' in an overly sweet voice. He widened his eyes innocently when Lucius scowled at him. "Was the Narcissa Black impression too much?"

"Far too much, are you trying to give me nightmares?"

"I'm not that cruel."

Lucius snorted quietly, "I'm sure. Anyway, don't you think you ought to do some homework?"

"I've done it," replied James, he noticed the blond's sceptical look. "I _have."_

"As long as you don't get behind."

"I won't," James watched Lucius work silently for a few moments before he spoke again, "Professor?"

"Call me Lucius, James, there's no one else around."

James shrugged, "Okay, Lucius. Can I ask you something?"

Lucius glanced up at him briefly, "I think you'll find you just did, but shoot away."

James hesitated for a moment, "I was just wondering…I mean…all the other teachers keep questioning my emotions and my psychological state since school started and…well, you haven't…"

Lucius put his quill down and folded his arms on his desk, he surveyed James thoughtfully for a moment, "Would you rather I did?"

James shook his head, "No, I mean, its nice that not everyone is doing it…I was just wondering…I just find it odd that you're being so nice to me and you haven't questioned me or anything…"

Lucius nodded slowly, "I understand to some extent how you feel, James, and I know I wouldn't appreciate it if my teachers kept sticking their noses into my business and alluding to the relationship I had with my father," he noticed James flinched a little. "My point exactly. I don't want to make it any worse for you than it already is."

James smiled slightly, "Thank you," he definitely felt far more than just a crush for this man now. "I have another question."

"Oh no."

James frowned, "No need to sound so happy about it," Lucius smirked at him and indicated for him to continue. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Lucius raised an eyebrow, a slightly amused look still on his face, "No, I don't, nor a boyfriend, before you ask. Anyway, don't be so nosy, or I may have to take points."

James shrugged, "Doesn't bother me…if you don't want me to be nosy, then why did you answer?"

"I don't know."

James grinned before getting to his feet; "I'll leave you to do your work now," he headed for the door to the classroom.

"James?"

James looked back to the blond that had captured his heart, "Yeah?"

Lucius gazed at the young man in his classroom, he was starting to feel something more than just a little friendly affection for the boy. "Feel free to come and bother me anytime of the day or night."

James smirked, "I may just take you up on that."

…

At breakfast the next morning, James was feeling quite happy and good within himself, and this vast change in mood was certainly being noticed by his friends, as he happily munched away at his breakfast.

Sirius raised his eyebrows at Remus and Lily before looking back to James who seemed quite blissfully unaware of the gazes he was getting, "Feeling all right today, Jay?"

"I'm feeling great."

As pleased as the three of them were to hear this, it was still a bit sudden, considering James had still been fairly down on himself yesterday, "Do you mind us asking, why?" asked Lily tentatively.

James glanced up at the three of them, just as his grandfather's owl landed beside him, he untied the letter as he spoke, "Well, I just figured why be miserable all the time? I mean, I'm not being harassed so much now, not everyone is abandoning me…that and I had a really good dream last night and I refuse to let anything spoil the visual in my head right now," he unfolded his letter and started reading it.

Lily raised her eyebrows, "It's a good change in you, I must say."

"I try."

Remus buttered himself some toast as he spoke, "How's Harry?"

James smiled slightly after he had finished his letter and put it in one of his pockets, "He can run around without falling over and hurting himself, and he can climb the stairs now; he is also right handed, apparently," he missed his son like crazy. Harry was another reason why he was staying at Hogwarts, he wanted to be strong for his little guy, whether he had to prove it or not. But at least he knew that he would be seeing his son again in December, he definitely planned on going home for Christmas with his friends in tow. "We have potions first, right?"

Remus nodded, "Yeah," he raised his eyebrows slightly at James's grin, though he, Sirius and Lily knew full well what he was so happy about when it came to that subject. It was becoming very apparent that James was completely smitten with their blond professor, who had also taken rather a liking to their friend.

Sirius snorted at the look on James's face, "You spend enough time with him, jump him if you have too."

"Shut up."

………

Another day was over and done with and James crossed it off on his calendar before flopping down onto his bed in the seventh year boys' dormitory; that was another way that he got through each day now. He wouldn't think about tomorrow, or the next day or next week, but just think in the present, and he would take each day as it came. It certainly worked for him, the only times he would think ahead were when he had homework or when he was thinking about Christmas.

"Oi, Jameo!"

James lifted his head to see Sirius enter the dormitory in his Quidditch robes, "What?"

"Quidditch practise!"

"Oh right, sorry," James forced himself to get up off his bed, "I'll meet you down there."

"Okay," Sirius grabbed his broom and headed off out the door, but before he left he stopped and turned back to James. "I went down to make sure we could have the pitch this evening without interruptions, and um…there are some Slytherins intent on watching our practise… just so you know."

James frowned a little, "Okay, thanks," after Sirius had left the dormitory the messy haired teenager yawned and stretched before he went about discarding his school uniform and pulling his Quidditch uniform and robes on. When he was ready he grabbed his broom and headed out of the dormitory and down through the common room to the portrait hole.

"James, wait for me!"

James stopped and looked over his shoulder to see Remus coming towards him, "I thought you didn't like Quidditch?"

Remus shrugged and followed him out of the portrait hole, "I don't, particularly, but Sirius will sulk if I don't turn up to watch you lot practise," James laughed; Sirius was certainly horrible to be around when he sulked.

…

Quidditch practise was going absolutely fine; the Slytherins that had turned up to watch and tease (James, most likely) hadn't said a single word because they had spotted Professor Malfoy down at the entrance to the pitch watching the practise also. They perhaps were not quite stupid enough to make fun of James right in front of the one teacher that really gets annoyed when people do that to. Remus was sitting with Lily in one of the stands opposite to the one that the group of Slytherins occupied, cheering on their House team and yelling sexual remarks at Sirius to make him slip up, which proved to be quite effective.

Now that he was back in the air and playing this sport, James felt like he had never taken a break from it; he felt more comfortable flying on a broom than he did walking on the ground, which probably became quite obvious to people if they watched him walk after he had been flying for a while. While he was playing and concentrating on catching the quaffle and scoring goals, he was very aware of the silvery gaze following him around the pitch, more than once he had been hit in the head with the quaffle because his own gaze had fallen upon the blond on the ground.

Finally though, practise finished and Sirius decided that he would be a little nice today as it was cold and his team was starving. "Let's finish up and go inside! Good practise guys!"

"Good practise except for _you_ messing up, Sirius," snapped Elizabeth Chamberlain, a fellow seventh year and one of Lily's friends.

Sirius scowled at her and pointed at Remus and Lily, "Blame those two."

James snorted at the wounded look on Sirius's face; he decided to hold back when the rest of the Gryffindor team left because he had noticed that Lucius hadn't left yet. After they had gone he went over to Lucius who was apparently waiting for him, "Did you enjoy that? Going to give your little Slytherins a few pointers?"

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "As my team are pretty damn appalling at this game, there isn't really much point, is there?"

"Guess not," James slung his broom over his shoulder as the two of them started walking back up to the school. "So did you come out here just for leisure time or are you trying to protect me from those bastards back there?"

Lucius glanced at James out of the corners of his eyes and saw the curiosity shining in those brown eyes, "Would it bother you if I said I was looking out for you?"

James shrugged, "You wouldn't be the only one…not that I want others to fight my battles for me but…" he glanced almost shyly at his handsome blond professor. "I do appreciate it, thank you."

Lucius smiled slightly and ruffled James's already naturally messy and now windswept hair, "No problem at all, James, I'm happy to do it."

__

Always good to know, thought James, as he walked a little closer to his professor now and he felt absolutely sure that Lucius had noticed. _He smells nice…_

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

****

A/N: Long time no update… that was shitty wasn't it? Be honest.

****

Next Chapter: The long over due Christmas chapter! James goes home though he doesn't want to leave Lucius's company. Lily, Remus and Sirius tag along to the Potters.


	7. Christmas Time

Troubled Past

**Disclaimer:** JK Rowling owns pretty much everything, but I do own James's grandparents, and his dog!

**Thank yous:** _orlin, RoschLupin-Black, Kime, VampiricSheWolf, BabyBoo0968, honeyduked, pixy, inumoon3, Goddess of Gorgeousness, the-mpreg-spirit, Althea, im no muggle, iamtherealmaverick,_ _lost angel92,_ _nercomi, Sarahamanda, vytiri, Serious Fan, Bonnie Mizuhara._

**Kime:** Thanks for letting me know!

**I don't seem to have made this clear, but in this story I have given James brown eyes instead of hazel, and Harry has inherited James's _brown_ eyes.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 7:** _Christmas Time_

It was the morning of the students going home for Christmas headed for the Hogsmeade train station, or at least those who wanted to go home. James was quite excited about finally getting to leave school for a little break, he was so desperate to see his son and to spend some time with his grandparents and his friends away from Hogwarts; but he was a little upset about having to leave Lucius's company for two short weeks, or what would probably transpire to be two very _long_ weeks.

"I'll meet you guys down in the entrance hall," said James as he dragged his trunk towards the Fat Lady's portrait so that he could leave Gryffindor tower.

Sirius nodded, "Okay, going to see lover boy?"

James rolled his eyes, "In my dreams, 'lover boy'…honestly…" with that said, he left the common room and headed down to the Hogwarts school grand entrance hall. He deposited his trunk near the big entrance hall doors and then he headed down to the dungeons to the potions classroom. Upon arriving he headed straight through the classroom and the office and to the potion professor's quarters, and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

James opened the door and saw Lucius and the headmaster; "Oh sorry…am I interrupting?"

"Not at all, James," said Dumbledore, "I was just leaving," the old man looked back to Lucius before heading for the door. "Think about what I have said, Lucius, and try and have an answer for me after Christmas?"

Lucius nodded, his brow furrowed slightly, "Yes sir," he sighed after Dumbledore left his quarters. "Come in, Jay."

James closed the door behind him; he decided it was probably best not to question Lucius about what Dumbledore had wanted to he put on a small smile. "I thought I would come and say 'goodbye' before I go home for Christmas. I know how much you're going to miss me, and all."

Lucius snorted and nodded, a sarcastic tone to his voice, "Oh yes, James, I just don't know what I'm going to do without you. I will just have to find something else that will satisfy my miserable existence while I wait anxiously for your return."

James grinned, "I knew you felt that way, see," Lucius quirked his eyebrows at him. "Anyway, I will bombard you with owls while I'm gone, because I know how much you like my lengthy waffle."

"Oh lucky me," replied Lucius in amusement. "Do try to keep it to just one letter a day, yeah? You don't want to exhaust the poor owl."

"I think I could probably manage that."

Lucius glanced at his clock, "You best be going, Potter, you don't want to miss the train."

James smirked and nodded, and because he was feeling rather affectionate today and the fact that he would not see Lucius for a while, he gave his blond professor a hug. "Goodbye," and in a moment of pure daring, he pressed a chaste kiss to the slightly surprised blond's lips and bolted out of the door before Lucius could do or say anything about it.

"What are you looking so pleased about?" questioned Sirius when James caught up with him, Remus and Lily on the way to a carriage outside on the snowy Hogwarts grounds.

James smiled serenely, "Nothing. Nothing at all, my dear, Padfoot," he replied as he got into a carriage followed by his friends.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, not believing his friend's words for one second, "You just snogged him under the mistletoe, didn't you?"

James laughed, "No, I didn't actually…I may have kissed him, quickly-"

"You snogged a teacher?" cried Lily in surprise, but she found the hand of James pressed over his mouth before she could make any further outburst.

"Keep it down, would you?" he said, removing his hand and raising an eyebrow at the affronted look on the red head's face. "And I didn't snog him…it was just…a-a quick peck and then I ran out of his quarters before he could yell at me or something…"

"Oh classy, James, real classy," teased Sirius in amusement. "But at least you made a move at last."

Remus was feeling too sleepy to say anything about James kissing their teacher, it had been a full moon the night before last and he was still quite tired from it. However he did manage a disapproving grunt.

……

Very soon the four teenagers were on the Hogwarts Express and starting the long journey back to Platform 9 ¾ and Kings Cross Station. Remus was lying on one of the seats with his head resting on Sirius's lap as he slept, finally giving into the constant yawning he was doing. Sirius was playing the card game 'Go Fish' with James, just so that they didn't wake Remus up with noise by playing 'Exploding Snap'. Lily was deeply engrossed in a muggle romance novel, and upon seeing the cover both Sirius and James decided that they probably didn't want her to give them a summary of what was in the novel.

"So, what's the plan for this holiday, Jameo?"

James scowled at his best friend, "Call me that again and you sleep outside," Sirius gave a quiet laugh. "I don't know, really, as long as I can spend time with Harry, I don't really care."

Lily finally looked up from her book, her face a little flushed, "What is he, about eighteen months old now?"

James shook his head, "Nearly seventeen months old."

Lily gave a smile, "That's quite a cute age. One of my little cousins is about three now, but I used to love hanging out with him when he was a bit younger…now of course, he's a little shit."

"I'm sure Harry will be too, soo-ow!" Before Sirius had been able to finish his sentence, he had received a swift kick in the shin from James who was scowling at him now.

James huffed, "I'm sure if he spends time with you, he certainly will be."

"I was only joking," Sirius weakly in defense of himself. He honestly had only been trying to make a joke; he hadn't really realised just how sensitive and protective James was of his son.

James smiled serenely, "I know, I just felt that you deserved some punishment."

"Little git."

"You still love me," replied James, he flicked one of his playing cards at Sirius.

"I do not, you brat."

"Sirius, stop moving!" demanded the sleepy voice of Remus.

……

It was very dark by the time the Hogwarts Express pulled into Platform 9 ¾ that evening; it was extremely cold out on the platform as well so the four friends wrapped up as warm as they could before hauling their trunks off the train.

"Oh, there's my granddad," said James, pointing over to the tall form of Henry Potter waiting for them near the barrier between Platform 9 ¾ and the muggle part of Kings Cross Station.

"Ah hello, you four, you certainly took your time," said Henry as the four teenagers stopped in front of him.

Sirius threw an arm around Lily's shoulders, "Had to make sure dear Lily was warm enough."

Lily had a very sour look on her face, "Get your arm off me, Black, or I will rip it off and _beat_ you with it."

Henry snorted quietly as Sirius jumped away from Lily, "I think you will get on just fine with James's grandmother, Lily."

The three boys cowered away slightly as a slightly sinister look passed across Lily's pretty face, and they winced when she cracked her knuckles.

………

The four teenagers were two days into their Christmas break now, and currently they were all lounging in the cosy living room around or near the fire with little Harry who had taken a _great_ liking to Sirius.

"Hey! James, tell him off, he keeps throwing bricks at me."

James laughed quietly, "Good boy, Harry," he took a note off his owl that had just come into the room.

Remus pulled Harry onto his lap and tickled the little boy so that he started giggling; "You keep that horrible dog in line, Harry."

"Oh thanks a lot, Rem…"

James unfolded the note to see a familiar scrawl on it, one that, since he had left school for the holidays, he was not entirely certain would see again after what he did. However, the note's contents held a rather pleasant surprise.

_James,_

_Now why would you kiss me before leaving for Christmas, I wonder? The only explanation that I can come up with is that you are hopelessly and helplessly in love with me. You poor child. Of course, this is coming from a Malfoy and everyone knows we are incredibly in love with ourselves; therefore everyone else must be too._

_Anyway, joking aside. As much as I have come to like you, James, and _please _do not take this as rejection; I just do not think it would be a good idea for you to do that again, _especially _in the confines of Hogwarts. I would hate to jeopardise your education and I would rather not lose my job as well, but- **Scrap that.** I think we should talk after the holiday is over, don't you?_

_I must end this here as the Powers That Be are beckoning._

_Have a safe and fun Christmas,_

_Lucius_

James continued gazing at the letter completely ignoring what was going on around him for a few minutes, before summoning a quill and some ink to himself so that he could reply.

_Lucius,_

_You are assuming an awful lot, my Blond Confidante. However, I must be honest with you, as you have pretty much got me figured out. Yes, I do _really _like you, _a lot. _That kiss was just a spur of the moment thing but I was rather hoping that it could happen again._

_I don't want to get kicked out of school and I don't want you to lose your job either, so if you don't want me to do it again, then I won't._

_Hoping to see you soon,_

_James_

"That for lover boy?" asked Sirius, as he noticed James tying his replying to the owl's leg before sending it off. He had finally stopped sulking after being beaten up by a seventeen-month-old child.

James stuck his tongue out at his friend childishly, "Stop calling him 'lover boy'…and yes, it was for him."

………

The rest of the Christmas holiday was fairly uneventful for the teenagers. Sirius had ended up getting beaten up by both Harry and Lily nearly every day, while James and Remus found it all too funny for words. Little Harry had been spoilt rotten on Christmas Day by his dad, his grandparents _and_ his new unofficial aunt and uncles; a present each for the child and his father had also arrived from one, Professor Malfoy.

All in all, it had been a good and peaceful Christmas, but James had not wanted to leave his son but was eventually dragged out of the house after giving Harry a big bear hug goodbye. He was still upset though, after all, his son would be nearly two years old when he returned home.

……

It was pitch black and raining by the time the teenagers arrived back at Hogwarts; as they were ushered into the Great Hall for the feast by Professor McGonagall, James immediately noticed that Lucius was absent from the Staff Table. "Where's Lucius?"

Sirius gave a shrug, "Who knows?"

James frowned, he hoped Lucius would turn up; he wanted to see the blond.

But by the middle of the feast, Lucius Malfoy was a no show and James was beginning to get very worried. With what he knew about Lucius, he knew the man enjoyed routine and tried not to break it for anything; he had also gotten another letter from Lucius last night promising to see him at the feast.

"James, I'm sure he's fine," said Lily, noticing James's worried glances around the Great Hall. "He could have just fallen asleep or something."

"Maybe…" replied James, he was fidgeting in his seat, barely paying attention to what was going on around him or his food.

……

The feast finally finished, though not fast enough for James, and once he was certain that he would not be spotted by other students (the Slytherins in particular) he high tailed it down to Lucius's chambers. Upon arriving he banged loudly on the door and waited for a few minutes; as he was about to knock again the door opened and the tired and injured form of Lucius Malfoy greeted him sourly.

"Oh, its you," the blond, a hand pressed to his left side, indicated for James to enter his quarters.

James ignored the greeting and gave Lucius a quick go over with his eyes, "What happened to you?"

Lucius waved the teenager off and poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey, "Don't worry about it."

James frowned, "Of course I'm going to worry. You're hurt and you look terrible."

Lucius gave the messy haired boy a grim smile, "Maybe so, but it doesn't matter," he sighed when he saw the doe-eyed look he was getting. "I'm really not in the mood to explain right now, ok?"

James gave a reluctant nod, "Ok… So, our talk is out of the question tonight?"

Lucius ran a hand down his face and nodded, "I'm afraid so. I think this weekend would be a better time, as neither of us will have classes in the morning," James nodded. The blond placed his glass down on the table and was about to walk over to James when a wave of light headedness washed over him and he gripped the table to keep from falling over.

James was at the blond's side immediately, a hand tentatively on his back, "You should go to Madame Pomfrey-"

"No! James, I'm fine."

"Stop being stupid, you're not fine," replied James and in return he got on of the famous Malfoy Death Glares. "You need help."

Lucius, still gripping the table with one hand, squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, "I think I just need to sleep," he heard a quiet growl of disapproval. "I will go and see Madame Pomfrey in the morning, will that make you happy?"

"No, but I suppose it will have to do."

"Yes, it will," Lucius pushed himself away from the table and nearly fell over again.

James continued to frown, he planned to get to the bottom of this, "Do you want some help?"

"No."

James sighed, "Lucius."

Lucius gripped the back of an armchair and groaned, "Ok…help me, please…" within seconds he had an arm around James's shoulders and was supported to his bedroom by the teenager. Once there, the blond fell down onto the bed and held his left side again. "Thank you."

"Do you want or need anything else?"

"No," Lucius managed to lift his head so that he could see the concerned face of young James Potter watching him. "I'll be fine, James, you should go to bed."

James nodded, "Ok… But if I don't see you at breakfast, I'm coming back here to drag your sorry arse out of bed."

Lucius smirked and put his head back down on the bed, "Is that a promise?"

James smiled slightly, "Goodnight, Professor."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Author's Note:** Another update! Finally! Aren't you proud of me? (Though this chapter did suck just a little bit).

**Next Chapter:** Will James find out how Lucius got so injured? Lucius and James have a talk and someone (identity undisclosed) writes to James about his relationship with their Professor.


	8. Talk to Me

**Troubled Past**

**Disclaimer:** There is very little that I own, though I wish Lucius were mine.

**Thank yous:** _vytiri, EsScaper, orlin, RoschLupin-Black._

**Vytiri:** Will Lily be paired with anyone? Um…she may be paired with someone, and the only one I think that will be is Severus Snape. But possibly not before the end of this story, as there is not much left and I want to focus on Lucius and James more than everyone else.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 8:** _Talk to Me_

School had been back for a week now and James was no closer to having 'the talk' with Lucius about their relationship. However, the teenager had not had to drag the blond out of bed the day after arriving back at school as Lucius had dutifully gotten up and gone to breakfast after doing as James had wanted, and paying a visit to Madame Pomfrey. Other than classes, the two hadn't seen or spoken to each other, which upset James a little bit, because he was starting to think that he had done something wrong.

"James!"

James looked up from where he was doing his homework in a corner of the Gryffindor Common Room, "Yeah?"

"Quidditch practice! _Now!"_ ordered Sirius for stomping out of the common room with his broom over his shoulder.

James rolled his eyes; he then went unhurriedly about putting his homework and everything away before grabbing his broom and his Quidditch robes. He then dawdled, taking his sweet time, towards the Quidditch Pitch only to walk straight into the blond of his affections, "Oh! Sorry!"

Lucius laughed and stood James right, "Don't worry; I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Neither was I," replied James, he inwardly cringed at how nervous his voice sounded. _Well…this is awkward…_ "Um…I've got practice to get too."

"I have a staff meeting to get to," said Lucius, before James left he caught the boy's arm and lowered his voice, though there weren't many people around as it was still very cold outside. "Come to my quarters after dinner, we can talk then."

James nodded, "Ok, see you later."

"_James! Get your arse over here NOW!"_

Lucius smirked, "Better get going, he might hurt you."

James huffed, "You're the Professor; give him a detention or something."

…

"About bloody time!" snapped Sirius when James finally arrived at the Quidditch Pitch. "Get up there and do what I want you to do! …Don't roll your eyes at me, James!"

James laughed quietly, "Calm down, Si, we're not playing for another fortnight."

"We need to practice so we can win! _Don't walk away from me, Potter!" _

……

The end of dinner couldn't come soon enough for James, after he had finished and had seen Lucius leave the Great Hall; he quietly excused himself from his friends and headed down to the blond professor's quarters. After knocking he only had to wait a brief moment before he was let in, "Hi."

Lucius let the teenager in and indicated for him to sit down, "Drink?"

"Are we talking alcohol?"

Lucius snorted quietly, "No, James, I am afraid that would be illegal."

James sat down on the black leather couch and shrugged, "Worth a try," he accepted the drink Lucius handed him with a smile. "Thank you… Why have you been avoiding me this last week?"

Lucius frowned slightly and settled himself down in an armchair, "Sorry about that, I was…it was a test, so to speak."

"A test?"

Lucius gave a nod, "I was seeing if I could restrain myself around you, suffice it to say, it was a rather difficult task."

James raised his eyebrows, and widened his eyes in an attempt to look innocent, "What were you afraid of doing to me, Professor?"

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "The 'pure as the driven snow' look does not suit you, James," the teenager grinned. "Anyway-" he stopped when James interrupted him.

"Can I just say something?" Lucius indicated for him to go on. "I like you _a lot._ You're the only person that seems to understand me and you're the only person I know that isn't trying to suffocate me with affection. Over Christmas I got thinking and kind of _hoping_ that you might feel the same way I do…"

Lucius got up from his armchair and moved onto the couch so that he was nearer to James, he ran a hand through the teenager's messy black hair, "Whether I feel the same way or not, and you _know_ I do, nothing can happen. At least not for the next few months, there are far too many meddling fools in this school to allow us to get away with a relationship in privacy."

James nodded, he already knew this, Lucius had mentioned it a few times in their letters over the Christmas break, but hearing it now straight from the blond's mouth did upset him a bit. "Dumbledore doesn't seem to mind how close we are…"

Lucius smirked slightly, "Dumbledore knows all; he has probably harboured feelings for a student or two before, as well," James wrinkled his nose in a very cute look of disgust. "However, being that I am the adult here, he is probably hoping that I make sure we do not do anything that would jeopardise our current situations," he noticed the adorable pout forming on James's face. "Wouldn't you rather graduate and pass your NEWTs before jumping into a relationship?"

James gave a reluctant nod, "Yes, I know what I want."

Lucius continued running his fingers through James's mass of hair, "Do you?" he got an affronted scowl in reply. "I just know that at seventeen I was a confused mess, I still am at twenty three. You have a son to think about as well, anything you do until he is at least your age, is going to affect him."

James turned on the couch so that he was fully facing Lucius now, conscious of the hand still in his hair, "You must still be confused, now you sound like you don't want me."

Lucius sighed and dropped his hand from James's hair, "I do, James, believe me I do. I just want to make sure you're thinking this through properly."

"I _have_ thought it through," replied James, though he was getting a bit confused now though. "I've been thinking it through ever since you saved me from those Slytherins back in October… I'll wait if I have to, but I don't want to," he finished in a small voice.

"I don't want to either, but its best if we do," Lucius then, despite his own slightly better judgement, leaned forward and brushed a kiss to James's left temple. "From what I've heard, your Potions NEWT is first so, technically, I am no longer your professor after that."

James gave a proper smile this time, "I could very well have gotten over you by then, you know, and moved on," he replied teasingly.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? I think you will find that as a Malfoy, I can rather _linger_ on one's mind."

"I don't doubt," James leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the blond in a hug; he felt it returned after a few seconds. "Can I ask you something that you might not want to answer?"

"Go on…" answered Lucius curiously; he felt James move away from him again and saw a serious look pass across the boy's face.

James took a deep breath and then started, "When I came to see you the other night you were really hurt," he watched as Lucius's eyes clouded up slightly and the blond looked away. "What happened?"

"James-"

"Please? I want you to be able to talk to me," pried James, he even started to resort to the puppy eyes. "You know my big secret."

Lucius propped an elbow against the back of the couch they both occupied and rested his head on his hand; he took a few more moments to gather his thoughts, conscious all the while of the teenager intently watching him. "You remember you interrupted a conversation between myself and Dumbledore before you left for Christmas?" James nodded. The blond kept his eyes focussed on the ground. "He was asking if I would become a spy for him, with my family name and connections I would be well suited for it. However, becoming a spy for his Order of the Phoenix would mean winning back the trust of my family, and then if needs must, becoming one of the new Dark Lord's followers," he finally looked back to James to see the teenager's look of horror. "I am yet to take the Dark Mark but that could very well be in my future. There's some background information for you, anyway. About my injuries, that is what happens to the black sheep of the Malfoy family when he wants back in."

James chewed his bottom lip lightly, "Your father did that to you?"

Lucius inclined his head slightly, "Him and my brother."

"I thought your father was dead…"

The blond smirked and shook his head, "No, no, old Abraxas is very much alive. They decided I needed to be punished for deserting the family and then taking on such a 'lowly job' as teaching… I managed to win myself some brownie points though, by saying I took the job with the intent of spying on Dumbledore for the 'dark side'."

"And they believed you?"

"Barely, I still got the Cruciatus for my troubles." Those last words had barely made it out of the blond's mouth before he found a seventeen year old Gryffindor straddling his lap and seemingly trying to hug the life out of him. Though he had not wanted to get too close to James these next few months, Lucius allowed the hug and comfort, and returned it, resting his head against James's shoulder.

James continued to cuddle the blond as he spoke, "I had no idea how bad it was."

Lucius had his eyes closed as he replied, "What, my family?"

James pulled away enough so that he could see Lucius's face, and he saw those half closed silver eyes gaze back at him, "Well, yes, but I meant…this whole Dark Lord thing, I didn't think it was bad enough for Dumbledore to need spies..."

Lucius rested his hands on the teenager's waist, "It isn't at the moment, but the Dark Lord is rapidly gaining followers. I'm afraid we're probably going to be looking ahead to dark and difficult times."

James nervously bit his bottom lip again, "…I want you even more now, you realise?"

Lucius gave a shrug, an amused glint in his eyes, "I suppose I can't help it if you're still blinded."

"I suppose you can't," James found himself becoming entranced with those warm silver eyes, and though he knew they really shouldn't, especially while within the walls of the school, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against those of the blond. This kiss was different to the daring peck he had given Lucius a few weeks ago before Christmas, it was longer and the blond did not seem at all surprised this time, in fact, James felt himself being pulled closer as he opened his mouth to allow Lucius's tongue in.

All the warning sirens were going off in Lucius's head right now, he knew he really shouldn't be allowing this to happen but this was too sweet to pass up and they both wanted it. He moved a hand up to the back of James's head and deepened the kiss, drawing a lovely little moan out of the boy's throat, a noise he decided he wanted to hear more of in the future.

Finally though, Lucius broke the kiss and gazed at James who was looking back at him with something akin to wonder in his brown eyes. Lucius kept one arm around James and brought his other to the boy's face, he ran his thumb across James's full lower lip and smiled, "What did I say about waiting, Potter?"

James flicked his tongue out at the thumb that was still at his lips, "I didn't hear you complaining, Professor."

Lucius cupped James's face with both hands and kissed him again, "Maybe not, but we really should stop before go too far."

James hugged the blond again, "I had no intention of letting you shag me tonight, Mr. Malfoy."

Lucius laughed quietly, "I'm hurt, James, am I not good enough for you?" he felt a kiss to his neck. "I'm glad you think that way. _I_ had no intention of getting you into my bed tonight, anyway."

James pulled away again and pouted, "Am I being rejected?"

"I would be a fool to reject you. I don't have people throwing themselves at me often."

James raised his eyebrows disbelievingly, "I find that hard to believe."

Lucius nodded, "It's true, I assure you, something about my family name puts most people off, including my own Slytherin kin."

James kissed him again, "Well, I'm not put off, and especially not by your family name."

Lucius smiled, "Good," he checked his watch. "I think maybe you should go, we don't want any suspicion."

James sighed and reluctantly extricated himself from Lucius's warm and inviting body, "Ok, can I come back tomorrow?"

Lucius shook his head, "I won't be here tomorrow, for the afternoon anyway. It seems I am popular enough with the family to be invited for Sunday lunch again."

"All right," James got to his feet and before bidding his farewell, he kissed Lucius again; he loved that mouth. "Goodnight."

Lucius watched James as he headed for the door, a faint smile on his handsome face, "Goodnight."

…

"Took your time," said Sirius when James plopped down beside Lily at the table she was sharing with Sirius and Remus.

James smiled serenely, "Yeah…"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, looking very unimpressed, "You were out after curfew, that deserves point deduction."

James gave the feisty redhead the puppy and kissed her on the cheek, "You'll forgive me, won't you?"

Lily turned away from the almost irresistible puppy eyes, "Fine, but just this once. Use your Invisibility Cloak next time, if you don't want to be caught."

Sirius looked highly offended across the table, "Why do you let him get away with that and not me? My own boyfriend doesn't even let me get away with it."

Lily laughed, "Well that is between you and Rem," Remus grinned. "As for me letting James off and not you, well," she patted James on an arm. "He's cute and pleasant, you're not."

"I'm not cute?"

"You're cute, yes," replied Lily, "But not at all pleasant."

Sirius pouted, "Remus, why aren't you defending me?"

Remus chewed on a sugarquill and continued scribbling answers down to their Transfiguration homework, "Because you can defend yourself, and I am doing your homework for you."

"Fair point," Sirius shrugged and looked back to James, lowering his voice as he spoke. "So… Malfoy a good kisser or not?"

James grinned, "Oh yes, very promising."

…

James lay awake in his bed early the next morning, staring up at the canopy; he was thinking about what Lucius had said about the Dark Lord, about how he was not yet the threat that he could be. Dumbledore wanted Lucius to become a spy for him… This Dark Lord was gaining power and supporters… Abraxas Malfoy was at one with beating the shit out of his son…just like James's own father… Was Dumbledore's side gaining any support? Would Lucius have to become a Death Eater? Would Harry have to be brought up during a war?

James rolled onto his side and closed his eyes; he was inclined to believe what the blond had told him…

Dark and difficult times were ahead.

………

Three days later when James was sitting at breakfast, munching on some toast, one of the school owls plopped down on the table next to his plate and stuck its leg out.

"Isn't that a school owl?"

James glanced at Lily; "Yeah…" he turned back to the owl and untied the piece of parchment from its leg and it then took flight again. He frowned as he unrolled it, he hadn't been expecting anything from anyone, and especially not from someone inside the school; Lucius would use his own owl. The note was written in a hand he had never seen before, which only added to his suspicions and worry not to mention what the note actually said.

_Potter,_

_Getting cosy with Professor Malfoy, aren't you? Dear, dear, what would daddy think? I'm sure he would love to find out what his darling son is getting up to at Hogwarts. If you don't want him to find out, if you want your child to stay unharmed, meet me at the Quidditch Pitch tonight at 9pm._

_**Be there. **_

_Yours truly,_

_Do You Really Think I'm Stupid Enough to Sign My Name?_

"James?" Sirius placed a hand on James's shoulder and the other boy jumped in surprise. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

James shook his head and crumpled up the parchment in his hand, "No… I need to speak to Lucius…and Dumbledore…" he glanced up at the staff table and saw Lucius watching him curiously.

…

An hour later, James found himself in Dumbledore's office with the Headmaster, Lucius and Sirius by his side. He had his feet pulled up onto the chair and his chin on his knees, watching the Headmaster read and reread the note before passing it to Lucius to look at.

"Do you recognise the handwriting as a student's, Lucius?"

Lucius frowned and shook his head, "No, I don't…" he glanced at James who was determinedly staring at the wall behind Dumbledore's desk. "Look, Albus, about-" he stopped when the Headmaster held up a hand.

"I have suddenly forgotten what the first sentence said, Lucius," said the old wizard, to which the young teacher smiled slightly. "Now, what are we going to do about this? Are you willing to meet this person tonight, James?"

James sniffed, "I don't want to do it alone."

At the exact same time, both Lucius and Sirius spoke, "I'll be there."

There was the familiar twinkle in Dumbledore's blue eyes, "You do not have to go, James, we can make arrangements for Harry and your grandparents to come here so that you know they are safe from your father."

James nodded, "But we need to know who it is, don't we?"

"We can still find out, you don't have to be there if you really don't want to be," continued Dumbledore. "I will personally go down to the Quidditch Pitch at nine tonight to find out who it is and bring them to justice."

James gazed down at the floor, chewing his bottom nervously again, "Will you tell me who it was when you find out?"

"Yes, I will."

"I'd like to be there this evening, Headmaster," said Lucius in a deadpan voice; no one who scared or blackmailed James was going to get away with it when he was around.

Dumbledore shook his head, "I would prefer it if you stayed with James, I don't want you doing anything irrational."

Sirius, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke up in a slightly nervous way which was rather unlike him, "I was going to keep this quiet, because I didn't want to worry James, but…my brother told me that James's dad has been hanging around my family's house recently. He said he thinks that he's trying to get to Jay through me…" he glanced at James who was staring at him wide eyed.

"When did Regulus tell you this?" asked Dumbledore frowning.

"Last week, when he got from the Christmas break," replied Sirius quietly. "I just thought that it wouldn't matter much if I said anything or not, because I don't plan on going home any time soon and getting myself put under Imperius or something."

Dumbledore held up his hand to stem Sirius for saying anything more, "Its ok, Sirius, I'm glad you've spoken up now. Do you think maybe you could ask Regulus for more information about this occurrence?"

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I can try, if I can get him alone."

"Excellent," Dumbledore turned back to James who was frowning even more now. "I will send word to your grandparents right away," James nodded. "In the meantime, I want you boys back in class, so on your way please."

The two teenagers trudged out of the Headmaster's office, James throwing a suspicious look at his best friend as they left.

After the two boys had gone, Dumbledore turned to Lucius who was looking rather sheepish in his chair, "Though I am not altogether pleased with a student/teacher relationship, Lucius, I know that James needs someone. Someone that understands him, and I know that person is you. I trust that you will both be discrete if your relationship develops more?"

Lucius nodded, "Yes sir. I've told him that it would be best if we didn't do anything until after he has finished school, and he realises that."

Dumbledore looked upon the blond with pride, it was not often that families like the Malfoys and Blacks produced someone halfway decent, and Lucius and Sirius just happened to be those people (Regulus Black was coming along that way as well, by the sounds of it). "Very well. I hope to see that boy well protected then, with the tempers you and Sirius hold, not to mention Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans."

Lucius smiled, "You can rest assured, we'll fight for him."

…

James and Sirius walked side by side down the corridor from Dumbledore's office.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sirius stopped and looked to James who was regarding him uncertainly, "Like I said, I didn't want to scare you. I didn't think your father could do anything while you're here, and he certainly isn't going to use me to get to you, I wouldn't allow it to happen."

James folded his arms across his chest and nodded, "You still could have told me though-"

"I'm sorry."

James gave his best friend a hug, "Don't worry about it," he pulled away and gave Sirius a stern look. "But if Regulus knows anything else and he withholds it from you, I will personally beat him up."

"Understood."

……

By that evening James was a nervous wreck, he was in Dumbledore's office with Lucius, his grandparents and Harry while the Headmaster was down at the Quidditch Pitch with the blackmailer.

"James, sweetie, sit down," said Elizabeth to her grandson. "Calm down. Dumbledore will be back soon and we will know who it is."

James let out a whimper, he picked Harry up off the floor where the child had been playing with some blocks and cuddled his son to his chest, "Why can't I just have some peace and quiet?"

Henry sighed and shook his head, "It's a cruel world, James… It just seems you drew the short straw at birth."

James sat down on one of the flights of stairs up to Dumbledore's viewing deck, still holding Harry to him, "Well it sucks."

Everyone lapsed into silence for a while, the many clocks in the office were ticking away. Dumbledore was taking an awful long time.

_9:10_…

_9:15_…

_9:20_…

_9:25_…

_9:35_…

Lucius sighed and shook his head, "Even for Dumbledore, this is taking far too long."

James was walking around the office, Harry asleep in his arms now, little head on his dad's shoulder, "Is that bad?"

Henry was fiddling with one of Dumbledore's many odd objects, "It could be, but I have never known Dumbledore to lose out to anyone before. I would also think, whoever it is that wanted to meet you, is _not_ a student if it is taking this long."

It was at that point that Dumbledore's office door opened and a bound dark haired man was zapped through with magic before Dumbledore appeared.

Upon seeing the man with Dumbledore, James let out another whimper and ducked behind Lucius who happily stood in front of him as protection. The blond had his wand out and pointing threateningly at the man.

Henry, too, had his wand out, pointing it directly at the son he wished he had never fathered. Elizabeth immediately went over to where James was behind Lucius.

Dumbledore also had his wand trained on the glaring Michael Potter, "Though not the author of the note James received, this is whom I met up with down at the Quidditch Pitch. I trust Michael is upset that his plans were foiled, though I could not help that, he was just too good a target down there, with no assailants."

James had Harry to him with one arm, and he was clutching at the back of Lucius's robes with his free hand; he glanced around the blond's body at his father long enough to see the man sneer at him before ducking back behind the blond again.

"You have some nerve showing your face," growled Henry to his son; he looked to Dumbledore. "Would I be right in assuming this trash is going to Azkaban this time?"

Dumbledore gave a rather malicious smile for such a kindly old man, "Yes, you assumed right. Is there anything you wish to say, Michael?"

Michael continued sneering as his gaze fell on his cowering son once again, "One more time, James? Like old times?"

Lucius felt James begin to lunge forward so he flung out an arm to stop the teenager, "James, _don't."_

Michael gave a nasty smirk, "Seeking comfort, eh Jamie? The black sheep of the Malfoy family, of all people, though I hear you have been welcomed back with open arms recently. Lucius, isn't it?'

Lucius sneered back in true Malfoy fashion, "I don't know what you heard, Michael, but perhaps you and my father would like to share a cell in Azkaban? Or perhaps not, I hear child rapists get a pretty rough time, a taste of their own medicine," at these words, Michael did actually give a noticeable flinch. "Peas in a pod, you two, enjoy doing it to others but would hate to have it happen to you. Personally, I'd pay to see you get hurt like you've hurt your own son."

Elizabeth smiled slightly from beside James and behind Lucius, she could certainly see now, why James was so smitten with the blond; he had spoken about Lucius many times in his letters. She could certainly get used to seeing Lucius around her grandson, he seemed perfectly able to protect the boy; he also seemed to genuinely care.

Dumbledore gave a flick of his wand and Michael Potter found himself trapped to a chair, another flick of the wand and the man was unconscious his head lagging to the side. "I think that is all for this evening, I will notify the Ministry and have some Aurors take Michael away."

Lucius lowered his wand and tucked it back into his robes, "I think death would be too good for him," a look of disgust was upon his face, he could still feel one of James's hands clutching at his robes.

"I agree," said Henry, also replacing his wand inside his robes.

"Its ok, sweetie, he won't hurt you again," said Elizabeth placing a hand on her shaking grandson's back.

James sniffled and hugged his son as tightly as he dared; his terrified eyes still fixed upon the man that had made his life a living hell. He was thankful Harry had stayed asleep during that.

Lucius turned around to face James, and despite Dumbledore's warnings of discretion this morning, he did the one thing he hoped would give James some peace of mind; he pulled the teenager and the child he was holding to him and hugged them both. He felt James clutch at him again, which only made him hold James tighter, though hopefully not enough to hurt the little child, "Sh, James, its ok. You're safe now," he spoke quietly into the teenager's ear.

After Dumbledore beckoned Henry and Elizabeth over to him; Elizabeth one of Lucius's hands and smiled, "Look after him," she said to the young Malfoy before going over to Dumbledore with her husband.

James sniffed and lifted his head from Lucius's shoulder and spoke in an unusually quiet, "Can me and Harry stay with you tonight?"

Lucius pressed a kiss to the side of James's head and hugged him and the child again, "Of course you can."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Author's Note:** Phew! That chapter was much longer than I originally intended it to be, the whole bit with Michael was going to happen next chapter, but I decided I wasn't enough for a whole chapter on its own. **There is not much left of this story; two maybe three chapters left in all.**

**Next Chapter:** Are things starting to look up for James now? Lucius and James's relationship continues to develop. A Hogsmeade weekend. And will Regulus join the Gryffindor clique of misfits?

And yes, I did shamefully rip of _Goblet of Fire_ movie Dumbledore with the 'dark and difficult times' thing.


	9. Misfit Central

**Troubled Past**

**Disclaimer:** I own Henry and Elizabeth Potter; I also own Michael and Irene Potter (though I hate them in this story). Also, Lycinaeous Malfoy belongs to me. I also own _Snapping Snakes._

**Thank yous:** _iamtherealmaverick, Bonnie Mizuhara, im no muggle, EsScaper, vytiri, orlin._

**Vytiri:** I do plan on having some Lucius/Harry interaction.

**I've decided, I really don't think I have enough story for three more chapters, so it's going to be two more; hopefully if I make them long enough you all won't be disappointed.**

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 9:** _Misfit Central_

By the middle April nearly all the fifth and seventh years had started seriously revising for their OWLs and NEWTs; extra revision classes were being given by the teachers as well. Though both Sirius and James really didn't want to spend their free time studying, they were being forced into it by Remus and Lily; they had also been enlisted to help Regulus study for his OWLs now too. Lucius was also keeping an eye on James's study habits, after being strictly instructed by Elizabeth Potter to keep an eye on her grandson.

James was currently in his favourite Professor's quarters, curled up on the couch, his head on a very comfortable lap; he was trying to read his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook but he couldn't concentrate. His father was going to be tried in front of the Wizengamot next week and he had been called to testify against the bastard that had ruined his childhood; he really didn't want to because it would mean having to relive the gory details of what his father had done to him. The one comfort he had was that Dumbledore was allowing Lucius some time away from his job to be at the trial in support. The young Gryffindor sighed and dropped his book on the floor, "I give up."

Lucius had a book propped on the arm of the couch to read, one of his hands gently running through James's hair, "I don't blame you. Why don't you take a break from it tonight?"

James curled up even more and closed his eyes, "Ok then."

"I take it I won't be allowed to move anytime soon, yes?"

James smiled slightly, "You're a very comfortable pillow…think I may have to use you more often."

"Glad I am of some use to you, James," replied Lucius in amusement.

James continued to smile, more to himself this time though. He loved the way Lucius always called him 'James', no shortening of his name or nicknames, just _James;_ it made him feel older, like Lucius was treating him like a proper adult instead of the seventeen year old he was. It was just another thing to add to the long list of reasons why he adored the blond so much.

"What?"

James opened his eyes and looked up at the curious blond and he gave his most innocent smile, "Nothing," he sat up and pressed a kiss to the corned of Lucius's mouth before putting his head on the blond's shoulder. "I was just thinking that things might get a bit better now."

Lucius smiled and tugged James onto his lap, "I think it will," he let James nuzzle his neck. "Know what you want to do after school?"

James made a quiet groaning noise, "Raising my son would be the obvious answer, but then I need money to do that, don't I?" Lucius nodded. "I don't know… I used to want to play professional Quidditch…"

Lucius smiled, "You're certainly good enough."

James smiled against the neck he had been nuzzling, "Thanks… Didn't you used to play?"

"Yes," replied Lucius. "It gave me an excuse to hurt people and not get into trouble for it."

James snorted, "You weren't a beater though."

"No, but Chasers do a fair bit of damage to each other as well, you ought to know, being one yourself."

"True…" James lifted his head again so that he could see Lucius's face. "Did you ever think you would become a teacher?"

Lucius quirked his eyebrows, "Good god, no, I don't know why I agreed to it in the first place," James smiled. "Of course, I've found a reason to stick around for a while now. But no, I never thought I would, I used to think I would just live off the family funds like every other Malfoy."

"That money wouldn't last forever though."

Lucius shook his head, "No, it won't. You really have no idea what you want to do?"

"No… My grandparents said they'd support me for as long as I need them to, but I don't like having to be dependent on everyone else."

"You don't have to go into work straight away, though, do you?" said Lucius thoughtfully. "You could wait until Harry is a little older before you go into full time work."

"I could…but then I think I've got plenty of willing babysitters if I really want to work straight away. My grandparents, Lily seems pretty keen…and Harry loves you."

Lucius grinned, "Yes well, seems the child is a blinded as his dad."

"Oh yes, obviously," James kissed the blond full on the mouth.

It was true though, a couple of weeks ago James had been allowed to have Harry with him for a weekend and he had properly introduced his twenty month old son to his blond professor. Eventually, he had had to go and have a Quidditch practice and Lucius had graciously said he would watch Harry for the time his daddy was away. When he had gotten back he had found his two favourite people getting along famously.

_James quietly entered Lucius's quarters, unsure of what he would find, he still wasn't entirely certain of Lucius's stance on children considering the blond's complaining about 'bloody ignorant first years'. But what he did find inside made him smile widely; Lucius was sat on the floor next to his coffee table with Harry on his lap, talking to the child and handing him crayons so he could scribble on pieces of parchment._

"_Birdy!"_

"_Do you think daddy likes birdies?" questioned Lucius gently to the boy on his lap._

"_Yeah!" _

"_Let's draw him one. What colour do you think it should be?" Lucius held up a purple crayon to the little boy. "This one?"_

"_Yeah pur…pur…"_

"_Pur...ple…" said Lucius slowly. "Can you say it with me Harry? Pur…ple…"_

"_Pur…"_

"_Ple. Pur-ple."_

"_Pur…pul."_

_James continued smiling as he moved to stand behind the couch which was behind the two on the floor, he was fairly certain that neither of them knew he was watching them._

"_Purple," repeated Lucius again._

"_Pur-pul."_

_The blond nodded, "Close enough, good boy. Shall we draw the birdy before daddy gets back?"_

"_Yeah!" Harry started giggling hysterically when Lucius tickled him._

_James had, by now, crept onto the couch behind the two (surprised that Lucius hadn't at least acknowledged his presence yet); he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the blond's neck. _

_Lucius stopped tickling Harry who squealed in delight when he saw his daddy, "Go away, Potter, you're interrupting."_

_James grinned and plucked Harry from the blond's lap, to receive a sloppy kiss on the cheek from his son, "It's my right to interrupt. Having fun, boys?"_

_Lucius turned toward the raven-haired pair, still seated on the floor in front of the couch and smiled, "I think we were, weren't we, Harry?" he nodded his head and Harry nodded along with him. _

_James glanced between the two of them before letting his eyes settled on Lucius, "So would I be right in thinking you might baby-sit for me in the future?"_

_Lucius smiled, "I would love to." _

James cuddled back up to the blond again, "Where do you live in the summer?"

Lucius ran a hand up and down one of James's arms, "The family manor in Wiltshire."

James lifted his head again in slight surprise, "Even before you were invited back in?"

"Mmhmm," Lucius smirked. "My father is a bastard but my mother always liked me, so she made him give up one of his estates, as it would 'only be fair'."

James nodded slowly, he knew the Malfoys were probably the wealthiest Wizarding family in Britain but just how many estates did they have? "How many estates do your family own?"

"In Britain?"

Dark eyebrows rose, "Do your family own the Wizarding World or something?"

Lucius laughed quietly and shook his head, "No, but the old bastard probably wants too…and there are five estates in Britain."

"Oh…" James put his head back on the blond's shoulder once again. "You know, when I was in first year, there was this rumour going around about what was under your father's drawing room floor."

"I remember that one," replied Lucius in amusement. "I should anyway, I started it," James snorted. "But yes, there were-are certain illegal Dark Arts artefacts under there, between you and I, of course."

"Of course."

"Under _my_ drawing room floor _and_ in my attic, there is a vast amount junk as well," continued the blond. "I'm yet to look through it or pawn it off, but I would say a fair amount of money would come out of it if given to the right dealers."

"You're going to sell it out of spite, aren't you?"

"Hell yes," Lucius felt a huff of hot air against his neck as James laughed. "You can come and help me look through the stuff if you want."

James smiled and kissed Lucius on the jaw, "I'd love too…or are you just trying to get me alone at your home so you can have your evil way with me?"

Lucius sighed mournfully, "You got me, you discovered my dastardly plan, I'll never be able to go through with it now."

James snickered, he loved Lucius's sense of humour; the blond could be very funny if he wanted, or he could be incredibly sarcastic, "Its ok, Luce, I give you permission to kidnap me."

"Oh, why thank you."

James turned slightly and grabbed Lucius's left arm, he pushed the unbuttoned shirt sleeve up so that he could see the watch on the wrist, "I should go."

Lucius checked his watch and sighed, "You probably should," he found himself with another kiss planted on his lips. "You're very amorous, you know that?"

James pressed his forehead to the blond's, "If you were anyone else I wouldn't be."

Lucius raised his eyebrows slightly, he knew James wasn't close to many people and he didn't trust many, but this was a new development, it was a confession of sorts, "Well then, I feel very honoured," James smiled. "Come on, I'll escort you so you don't get into trouble again."

"Ok."

………

Saturday was a Hogsmeade weekend and James, after getting Harry from his grandmother in the morning, was going to spend the day with his friends, his son, and the added addition of Sirius's younger brother, Regulus. Regulus had decided "about fucking time" in Sirius's words, that his parents were full of it, and that he would rather be more like his brother; of course this had led him to being an outcast in his House so he started spending more time with the four Gryffindors. Because of this, the younger Black was welcomed with open arms after he and Sirius had had a brotherly heart to heart.

"Where to first?"

James shrugged, he had a shoulder bag on and he was holding Harry on a hip, "What have they been feeding you?"

"Boo…"

"Ok."

Sirius snorted, "His verbal techniques astound me, Jamie. Like father, like son."

"Oh shut up, you prat."

"I need sweets," said Regulus before turning towards Honeydukes.

"You _need_ them?" questioned Lily in amusement.

Regulus turned back to her and nodded, "I do, and I don't function properly without sugar."

Remus shrugged, "Right, sugar, I can understand that. Let's go."

The other three teenagers raised their eyebrows at the two retreating backs that were headed at a fast pace towards Honeydukes. It looked like Remus had found a friend who was into sweets as much as he was; the other three ate them as well, just not in such excessive quantities. After three sighs and a squeal from Harry, the four traipsed into the sweet shop after Remus and Regulus who were practically salivating at the mouth over a new variety of Honeydukes chocolate.

After spending nearly forty-five minutes picking and choosing in Honeydukes, the party of six headed towards Zonkos, mainly for Sirius's benefit so that he could stock up on toys and try and teach Harry bad habits. After a few smacks around the back of the head from everyone, including a tug on the hair from Harry, Sirius quickly bought up all the little toys he wanted and ran out of the shop with Regulus hot on his tail. While Regulus had been avidly trying to poke a Biting Teacup, Sirius had dropped a Snapping Snake down the back of his shirt, causing the younger Black to shriek in horror and immediately start trying to hex his older brother.

Next stop was the fairly crowded Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer and a gossip.

"Oh! You know that slut with Parkinson?" said Regulus after blowing bubbles in his drink. The others nodded and closer to him so he didn't have to speak so loudly. "She's pregnant…and it's not his."

Lily gasped, "I knew it! I swear she's been at it with Avery."

Sirius pulled a face, "Ew, she's not even that attractive…she looks like a dog."

"Yeah, she does," agreed the red head. "She's such a bitch."

"Hey, can we stop swearing in front of the kid?" questioned James, who, almost as soon as the gossiping had started, placed his hands over Harry's ears, because he really didn't want his son picking up 'bad words' at such an early age.

"Yes sir."

……

By early evening the group were getting tired and hungry for dinner, so they left The Three Broomsticks and headed up the main street to where one of James's grandparents would meet them to take Harry home.

"What have you been feeding him? He's huge," said James to his grandfather, as he handed his son over; the others were waiting for him a few feet away.

"I really couldn't say, you should take that up with your grandmother," replied Henry, he gave the sleepy Harry a hug. "Anyway, I can't stay, but how are you getting to the trial next week? You're coming with Lucius, yes?"

James nodded, "Yeah, apparating I think… Am I going to have to see him while I testify?"

Henry put a free hand on James's shoulder and squeezed it, "I'm afraid so, kid, but you won't be alone. Just try not to think about it until then, ok?"

James frowned a little and nodded, "I'll try not too," he hugged his grandfather and Harry before pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. "I've got to go now, Harry, you be good."

"Buhbye, dada!"

"Bye bye, Harry," with that, James felt one of his arms being grabbed and found himself being dragged away by Sirius. "Oi!"

"Come on, you sappy bastard."

James grinned and started walking with his friends towards the road that would take them back to Hogwarts, but he stopped a few minutes later when he saw a blond that appeared to be Lucius getting cosy with another dark haired man near an alley way.

"Jay, you coming?"

James didn't say anything as he watched the two men across the street from him, he assumed rather than noticed that his friends had crowded around him and were following his line of sight. He continued watching, though he knew he shouldn't, and as he saw this quiet conversation move on, he really wished he hadn't been watching. His eyes widened as he saw the two men move closer to each other and then he saw a reason for him to hate the blond; the two men started kissing, apparently oblivious to the group watching them.

"James," Sirius took James's arm again but was shaken off as his best friend became increasingly more upset as he watched the progress of the two men across the street.

The two men pulled apart and James watched as Lucius grinned, he then glanced to his left and apparently saw the group of teenagers watching him as his silver eyes immediately widened as they fell on James.

Sirius was glaring at the blond now, who still seemed to be in some state of shock, "Busted," he mouthed across the street.

James stayed standing where he was for a few moments more before sniffing and storming off towards the school, his friends running after him. He felt so empty inside now; how could Lucius do that to him? After the last few months, _how_ could he do that?

Lucius groaned quietly as he saw James storm away, "Shit…" he leaned back against a wall and squeezed his eyes shut. How the hell was he going to explain this?

"Luce-"

"Get away from me," snapped Lucius to the man he was with. After pushing the man away from him, he stormed off in the direction of the Hogshead pub; maybe Aberforth Dumbledore would give him something extra strong.

……

James was sitting on his bed, hugging his pillow and gazing blankly off into nothingness. There he was thinking that everything in his crappy life was getting better, he had his son, he had his friends and he had Lucius, and then that blond bastard had to go and screw everything up. He didn't want to talk to or see Lucius now, he even had half a mind to avoid Potions, but he knew he needed all the information he could get to pass his exam.

"James?"

James snapped out of his depressing reverie and looked to the door to see Lily watching him uncertainly; he sniffed and wiped his eyes which had been starting to water, "Hey…"

Lily went over to the bed and sat down on it before putting her arms around James and hugging him tightly, "I still think you should talk to him, but I won't say anymore on the matter for now," James glanced at her, knowing she was going to say more. "I still think he has your best interests at heart though."

James sniffed and looked down at his lap, "If he did he wouldn't have done that… I don't want to talk to him and I don't want to see him."

"Well, whether you want to see him or not, I will be making sure you attend every Potions lesson before our exam," said Lily sternly; she still had one arm around him.

"That's what Remus said… Sirius said he would smash the bastard."

Lily did not look amused at all, "I bet he would, but he'd probably get killed in the process."

………

The day of James's testifying arrived far too quickly for the seventeen year old; he really didn't want to be here and the only comfort now were his grandparents. At least, he thought was the only comfort until he saw Lucius sneak into the huge round courtroom; he hadn't spoken to the blond at all since that day in Hogsmeade, he hadn't even bothered to answer questions directed at him in class. The teenager flinched quite violently when he saw his chained father being led into the courtroom by Dementors and seated before the entire Wizengamot, Dumbledore included.

James tried to look anywhere but directly at his father, the Dementors were making him highly uncomfortable as well; he felt his grandfather place a strong hand on his folder, and his grandmother take hold of one of his hands; Harry was being watched outside the courtroom by an Auror who was friends with the Potter grandparents. As he gazed around the vast room, James's eyes fell on his blond professor again and he gazed straight into remorseful silver eyes. After a few moments of holding the gaze James looked away again and stared down at his lap; he could still feel the silver eyes on him though.

…

This was horrible. He was being interrogated by a complete idiot; how many damn times did he have to answer the same questions? How many times did he have to tell these people what his father had done to him while suffering the pervert leering at him?

James chewed his bottom lip, he was so nervous and so upset, did these people not have any compassion? He could see that Dumbledore was trying to calm the Wizengamot down but the bastard in charge seemed absolutely determined to break down every wall James had ever built up around himself.

"Mr. Potter, you became with child at the start of your fifth year, did you not?"

"Yes."

"How?"

James glared up at the man, Bartemius Crouch, Sr., he had a son a couple of years below James at school; apparently though, Barty Crouch had been a friend of his father's, "How the hell do you think?" he snapped, he'd had enough. Screw being polite. "I've already told you enough damn times! I somehow doubt you would want to continue talking about it if you had been through _half_ of what I've been through!"

Crouch scowled down his nose at the defiant teenager, while both Dumbledore and Lucius had tiny looks of amusement on their faces. Henry and Elizabeth didn't know what to do or whether they should say anything to calm James down, but they really couldn't blame him, he had been through enough today.

"Where is this child?"

James continued glaring and he practically growled his reply out, "If you even look at my son I'll _kill you."_

Crouch was on his feet, "Are you threatening me?"

"_Yes."_

Crouch was silent for a few minutes but he finally spoke, "We will adjourn for today until young Mr. Potter has come to his senses."

"I'm not coming back."

Michael Potter was unchained from his chair and pulled to his feet by a couple of burly Aurors; as he was led towards the Dementors to be escorted out he gave a crazed smile to his son making sure to get the boy's attention, "Firecracker, aren't you, Jamie? Its what I always loved about you."

"You bastard…" muttered James; he watched, his level of anger rapidly rising as his father gave a wink and a lewd lick of his lips. At that, despite the amount of people around that could restrain him, James lunged at his father and knocked him down to the ground; the two Aurors didn't seem to care.

Michael, needless to say, was quite shocked to find a seventeen year old trying to throttle him, "Hungry for more, eh son?"

James wrenched back his right fist and punched his father hard in the face, making sure that nose got broken, and sure enough, blood began flowing freely as Michael cried out in pain. "How _dare you-"_ he felt about three pairs of hands grab onto him and pull him away from the man on the floor. "Get off me!"

"Potter! Restrain yourself!" shouted Crouch; he stormed straight over to the angry teenager and spoke as he did so. "If you continue in this manner, you will be tried here for your actions-" he stopped dead when Henry Potter stood between him and James.

"You will stay away from my grandson, Crouch," he said in a very, almost scarily, calm voice. "He has every right to beat the life out of that bastard if he so chooses too, and you will _not_ stop him." Crouch huffed and went to side step around Henry to get to James but the elder Potter got in the way again. "I said… _Stay. Away." _

As he watched his grandfather protect him from Crouch, James realised that one of the pairs of hands still trying to restrain him belonged to Lucius. He really wasn't sure if he wanted them there or not, in fact, he had half a mind to turn around and punch that face as well.

……

"How did it go?"

"Are you ok?"

"You look so pale!"

James flopped down onto his bed in the Gryffindor Seventh Year Boys' Dorm with Sirius, Remus and Lily all crowding around him on the bed as well. "It went…I don't ever want to go through that again…" he curled up on his left side and hugged his pillow.

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Your right hand, hold it out," ordered Lily, frowning slightly. "You're bruised up, what happened?" Sirius cracked his knuckles at that.

James let Lily check his hand out and he sighed, "I attacked him," he replied quietly. "The bastard started saying things to me again and I just lost it…I went for his throat. I punched him and before I could do anything else I was dragged away from him."

Sirius let out a low whistle, as Remus spoke, "They let you get away with it?"

James sat up again before Lily cast a healing charm on his hand, "Crouch wasn't going to let me, but…my granddad is pretty scary when he's pissed off."

"You're back pretty early."

James nodded, "Crouch adjourned because I couldn't control myself," he gave a humourless smile. "He didn't believe me…I could tell…"

"The evidence is pretty damn overwhelming," argued Remus, "I mean, why would you make it up?"

"I wouldn't," replied James, "Crouch and my father were friends at school…but I didn't think even he would side with a rapist."

Lily moved up beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, "Do you have to go back?"

James gave a little shrug, "I don't know, I said I wouldn't. Crouch'll probably make me just so I can suffer some more," he finished bitterly.

Sirius, in an attempt to change the subject even the tiniest bit, spoke up, "Was Malfoy there?"

James nodded, "Yeah, he was…"

………

They had Potions last lesson on Thursday and James couldn't wait to get out of there; he could feel he was being watched, not only by Lucius but also by other students. What had happened at his father's trial yesterday had made front page of the _Daily Prophet_ today; he had heard whispering about it all day and he just forced himself to ignore it.

Finally though, the bell to signal the end of classes for today and rang and everyone started packing up their things.

"Make sure you leave no mess, you lot," said Lucius from where he was perched on his desk, his eyes sweeping around the classroom. "Potter, stay behind."

James sighed, he had been expecting that though he didn't want to stay and talk to Lucius.

Remus gave him a sympathetic look, "See you later."

A few minutes later the two were alone in the classroom; Lucius pointed his wand at the door and sealed it shut before indicating for James to follow him, knowing full well the teenager was deliberately refusing to say anything. Once the two of them were in his quarters he turned to James, and as he opened his mouth to speak, James spoke over him.

"I don't know why you're even bothering because I have nothing to say to you," said James as harshly as he could; he did however, drop his school bag to the floor and cross his arms.

Lucius sighed and nodded, "Understandable," he indicated for James to sit down but teen stubbornly shook his head; the blond sat down in his armchair though. "Will you at least hear me out?"

James sniffed and narrowed his eyes at the blond, "Why should I? I know what I saw, _Professor,_ I don't need it explained to me."

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "No, I really think you do," his voice was more of a forced calm now. "You have the wrong end of the stick-_don't_ argue-just _listen to me,"_ James continued glaring but he sat down opposite the blond. Lucius took a moment to gather his thoughts before looking James straight in the eye and continuing to speak, "That man you saw me with, is a family 'acquaintance', an 'acquaintance' who is uncertain of whether or not to follow the Dark Lord," he noticed he had James's undivided attention now. "Being that I have been spying on them and trying to keep in with the family, I was given the task to change his mind-"

"You didn't have to make out with him!"

Lucius sighed, "I did what I had to, James, you do _not_ disobey a direct order from the Dark Lord, especially if you want your corpse in one piece when he's finished using you," he took a deep breath to keep himself calm, he really had hated seeing that look of complete heartbreak on James's face the other day. "Look, I'm sorry, James, I truly am… But if I am ordered to do things like that in the future I will not be backing out, I refuse to be killed for trying to do the right thing. It just so happens, doing as I am told will keep you and Harry safe, that is my main concern right now. Someone else found out and someone told; if you take nothing else away from this conversation at least take the warning to be careful."

James wrapped his arms across his stomach in an odd attempt to hug himself, he sniffed, "…How do I know you're telling me the truth? How do I know you weren't instructed to tell me that?"

Lucius sighed, "I guess you can't be sure," he got up and moved over to the chair that James was on and knelt down on the ground in front of the miserable teenager. "Have I ever lied to you before?" James shook his head, so he tentatively placed his hands on James's upper arms. "I never meant to hurt you…and… Well, you were never meant to see but I know that doesn't make it any better."

James glanced up through his flopped fringe, "Would you have told me if I didn't catch you?"

Lucius faltered a little but he kept his eyes fixed on James, "Perhaps not every detail, but then there are certain things that I have been asked to do that I would feel uncomfortable repeating to anyone."

James let some of his tears fall, he hadn't actually had a proper cry for a while considering what he had recently been through, "Will you tell me things from now on?"

Lucius put his hands up to James's face; he removed the glasses and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears, "If I do, would that mean I get to suffer your company every other night again?"

James managed a watery smile and a shaky nod of the head before he just broke down completely and threw his arms around Lucius's shoulders and neck; he buried his face against a shoulder and refused to let go.

Without removing James from him, Lucius managed to change their position so he was sitting in the armchair with the miserable teenager on his lap; he held James tight to him and ran his fingers through messy black hair. He tried to speak quiet comforting words in an effort to calm James down.

"I hate my life…" managed James between sniffs and sob against Lucius's shoulder.

"Sh," Lucius pressed a kiss to James's head. "Everything is going to get much better now."

James lifted his head so that he could see those intent silver eyes, "Promise?"

Lucius nodded his head, his eyes fixed on James's watering brown ones, "I promise," he pressed another kiss to James's forehead. "You are going to be the brave Gryffindor that I know you are and you are going to face this stuff head on. You are going to study hard and sit your NEWTs, all of which you will pass with _Outstanding,"_ James started to smiled. "You are then going to graduate from school with the knowledge that _nothing_ is _ever _going to break you down again, and then you will spend plenty of time with Harry. You will also come and visit me as often as you wish and you will smile at least _once_ every day. Are we understood, Mr. Potter?"

James couldn't help but give a proper big smile at that, "We are understood, Professor," he put his arms around Lucius's neck again and nuzzled the pale neck. "Does that visiting you involve staying the night?"

Lucius smiled and ran a hand gently up and down James's back, "If you wish it."

"Thank you."

"What for?"

James kept his head pressed against Lucius's neck, "Everything…for never turning away from me, even when I'm like this… Even when I've been wanting to beat the shit out of you the last few days…"

"You are very welcome."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Author's Note:** Something tells me this penultimate chapter could very well surpass the size of the final chapter… I hope you liked this one, took two days to write, and its 2:30am now.

**Next Chapter:** **FINAL.** NEWTs. Talk of the Future and what it holds. Final Verdict of Michael Potter's trial. Fluff. Harry. Will Lucius and James say 'I love you'?

_Now, I probably won't be adding this (unless you, the reviewers, convince me otherwise), but do you think Lucius and James would sleep together before they both leave Hogwarts for the summer? _

Woah, over 5500 words…this is one of the longest chapters I have written in ages!\

Any takers for a sequel? I certainly think one could be written, or follow up chapters all the characters...


	10. Hopes for the Future

**Troubled Past**

**Disclaimer:** You should know by now what I do or do not own.

**Thank yous:** _Seduction, orlin, EsScaper, RoschLupin-Black, Kime, iamtherealmaverick, mushcorn, imakeeper, Bonnie Mizuhara, vytiri, Rchan2._

**Seduction:** Hehe, I do wonder where Harry got his 'buhbye' from, I mean its not like I say it or anything **:-D** I'm so sorry if Luce and James are keeping you from your studies, be sure to send the teacher my way **:-P**

**Vytiri:** Hehe, oh yes, Lucius would be good for both Harry and James.

_F.Y.I, I have given Lucius a birthday of Mid-May, so he is twenty four during this chapter. James is not eighteen until August_

**Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed this story! You rock!**

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter 10:** _Hopes for the Future_

James had been studying like crazy since the beginning of April and now he deemed himself fit for a little break, after all, he needed to be relaxed for his first theory exam tomorrow: Potions. And what better way to relax than to go and harass the Potions Master, which was something they were both quite accustomed to now.

James could barely believe it, this time last year he had been sulking at his grandparents' home and refusing to ever return to Hogwarts, back then he had thought he was all alone in the world with no friends and only his grandparents to love him; but at that point he thought they were only looking after him because he was a blood relative. But now? He had four very good friends, his grandparents, his son, and of course, Lucius Malfoy.

If he had been told a year ago that he would end up falling for the handsome blond, then he would have said that person was crazy. But here he was, he had admitted it to himself now as well, he was hopelessly in love with Lucius Malfoy. Now he wanted nothing more than to spend as much time as he could with the blond, and he was fairly certain that Lucius felt the same way. At least he hoped that Lucius felt the same way.

James drew to a halt in front of the door to the Potions classroom, there was a soft glow of torches coming from beneath the door, so he quietly opened the door and peered in, "Knock knock," his eyes fell on the charming blond at the Professor's desk. The acknowledgment he received was a smirk and a sarcastic reply.

"Ah, bane of my life, I was beginning to think you had gone and died on me."

James grinned and closed the classroom door behind him, "I wouldn't do that, I'd hate to please you."

Lucius glanced up from what appeared to be partially marked essays, "Always good to know. Is that a confirmation that you will abysmally fail your Potions theory exam tomorrow morning?"

James sat on one of the desks in the front row of the classroom and smiled serenely, "I will personally deliver my _Outstanding_ results to you the day I get them," Lucius snickered quietly. "Anyway, I have had plenty of incentive to do well in Potions this year, wouldn't you agree?"

"Your consistently high results have been very impressive, I must admit," said Lucius; he glanced up to see James smile proudly. "Even my NEWT Potions results weren't consistently at an _O_ level."

James raised his eyebrows, "Are you saying that I'm better at Potions than you are? The esteemed Potions master of the Malfoy family?"

"That is _not_ what I said."

"It's what you implied, Lucius."

"Shut up."

James laughed and got off the desk, only so that he could go and sit on the end of Lucius's desk and be closer to the blond that he so adored, "Want some help?"

Lucius shook his head, "No… Anyway, you have exams tomorrow; you should be concentrating on them."

James sighed and slumped his shoulders, "You sound like Lily…and Remus…and my grandparents," Lucius rolled his eyes. "I've studied enough, I want a break."

Lucius, knowing he wouldn't get anymore marking of his Second year class essays done, leaned back in his chair and observed James, "I never said you had to study up until the last minute, I know I didn't, I just don't want you getting your mind on other things before these exams. That, I must say, is a reason why you should not be here."

James leaned forward slightly, a sly look coming over his face, "Reason I shouldn't be here with you? What on earth do you think would cross my mind, Lucius? Do tell."

Lucius snorted and got to his feet, he ruffled James's already highly messy hair and spoke as he headed towards his quarters, "Bloody, over-sexed, horny Gryffindor."

James jumped off the desk and followed the blond, "I am hardly 'over-sexed', horny maybe, but not 'over-sexed'."

Lucius smiled and pulled James to him once they were safely in his quarters, and pressed a kiss to the teenager's head, "Shut up. You're annoying me; I may have to start punishing you."

James battered his eye lashes and gave his best innocent look, "Oh please do, Professor," he found himself pulled into a proper deep kiss this time, which successfully shut him up for a few minutes.

Finally though, Lucius broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against James's, his arms around the smaller boy's-no _man's_ waist, "I think…that for the next fortnight, you ought to spend more time preparing for your exams than you do with me."

James frowned, "I knew you were going to say that."

Lucius pressed a kiss to James's messy hair and then one to the neck, "I just think it would be best, and I will still be here when you finish."

James sighed; he would rather not be cut off from Lucius for a fortnight, as he figured being around the blond might keep him from completely breaking down during the horrid NEWTs. But it seemed he would probably not be able to sway the blond's mind. "Ok… If I need help studying, can I come and see you?"

Lucius nodded, "Mmhmm, as long as that is your intention, I don't want to be held responsible for you not concentrating on your exams."

James narrowed his eyes suspiciously, as he regarded the blond, "My Gran has had words with you, hasn't she?"

"Yes, yes she has, and I do agree with her," replied Lucius, he moved away from James and sat on the table in his quarters, so that he could continue to regard the young man before him. "You have a lot on your plate; you don't need me getting in the way."

James huffed, "I can think for myself, thank you. And anyway, it's crazy to study every spare moment of the day during exams."

"I _know_ you can think for yourself," said Lucius, "And I agree, it is crazy to study every spare moment you have, but that is not what I meant," James was scowling at him now. "All I am saying, is that I do not want to be a distraction for you. If you don't want to stay way for the fortnight of exams then, so be it, but at least try a few days."

James folded his arms across his chest and continued scowling, "Fine. Maybe I want a distraction."

Lucius held out an arm, "Come here," James stubbornly stayed exactly where he was, regarding the blond with a frown on his face. "_Come here,"_ James grumbled something that was probably highly unpleasant and stepped up to the blond, allowing himself to be pulled against that lithe body for a kiss. "I will happily be your distraction, but I bet you _anything,_ that by the end of this coming week you will be begging someone to kill you to get rid of the stress."

"Bet _anything,_ eh?" James raised an eyebrow slightly. "If I am _not_ in hysterics and begging to be killed by the end of this week, then _you_ have to take me and my friends to Hogsmeade on Friday night for drinks."

Lucius snorted quietly and sighed before holding out his right hand for James to shake, "You're on."

James shook the blond's hand in surprise, "Are you being serious?"

"Yes, I am," Lucius smirked at the look on James's face. "You honestly weren't expecting me to agree, were you?"

James shook his head blankly, "No I wasn't… You do think I won't make it, don't you? That's why you agreed."

Lucius grinned, "I like to consider myself quite stoical, James, and I was ready to give up on everything half way through the first week of my NEWTs. I also find you to be far more emotionally unstable than myself."

James narrowed his eyes slightly again and regarded the blond, and without further words he headed for the door to the Professor's quarters; before leaving though he looked over his shoulder, "We'll see who the stoical one is, Professor. Goodnight."

Lucius watched James go with a smirk on his face, "Yes, we will see."

………

By the next afternoon, Lucius was wandering along a corridor on the sixth floor of the school; he had had nothing much to do this afternoon as his Fifth and Seventh Year classes had been sitting their OWLs and NEWTs, so he had decided to go for a walk. Eventually he stopped by a window that overlooked the Hogwarts grounds, his eyes drifting over the students that had just been released from their last exam for the day; his eyes eventually settled on a group of five beneath a tree near the lake. He could see Remus and Lily sitting up against the tree, Regulus lying on the ground seemingly asleep, and he watched as James pounced on Sirius who was, apparently, being a prat as usual. He leaned against the stone windowsill and continued watching his messy haired love fight it out with his best friend on the ground, oblivious to the footsteps nearing him until a voice from beside him spoke.

"I am quite proud of how far young James has come this past year, due in no small part to yourself, as well."

Lucius glanced to the left at the Headmaster and smiled slightly before turning his eyes back to the group beneath the tree, now seeing James chase Sirius around the tree in circles, "He deserves far better than what he's had."

"As do you," replied the Headmaster to his youngest teacher. "I must admit, you were not the most pleasant of people when you first came to teach here, but this last year I have noticed a great change in your demeanour. I am also going to go out on a limb and suggest that James is the cause of this positive change, and you the cause of his growing happiness. Makes a vast change to when the two of you first met."

Lucius snorted, "When we first met, I was cruel to him because he was nothing more than irritating little first year. I lost count of how many times I hexed him and his friends for just being within a few feet of me, and how often I deducted points for their mere existence."

"My point exactly," said Dumbledore, he leaned in the windowsill and followed Lucius's eyeline to the students under the tree; James now having rugby tackled Sirius to the ground. "I think the two of you are going to continue being very good for each other in the future."

Lucius raised an eyebrow and glanced at the Headmaster, "What are you getting at, old man?"

Dumbledore looked to the blond, his usual twinkle in his blue eyes, "In a few years time, I will be expecting an invitation to the wedding."

Lucius snorted, "James is still young, he still may very well change his mind about me."

Dumbledore tutted quietly, "You are only twenty four; you are still very young as well, my dear boy. Yet you are both old enough to know exactly what you want."

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Everyone is very young compared to you."

Dumbledore squeezed Lucius's shoulder unusually hard, causing the blond to squeak, "I may just not accept your resignation if you continue this way," he watched as the blond frowned, "Though I should not accept it anyway, no matter how nice you try to be."

"Why not?"

Dumbledore became very serious all of a sudden, a hand still clasped on Lucius's shoulder, "You know we are looking to dark times, and with your current situation, I think it would be much safer for you to remain here. It would be safer for James and Harry as well."

Lucius sighed and folded his arms, still leaning against the side of the stone windowsill, "I'll think about it, but I never intended on staying here for a long time. I would have left at the end of the last school year if you had let me."

Dumbledore nodded, "I know, and the reason I refused your resignation then is because I knew that you would be the only one in the school that could truly understand what James has been through."

Lucius nodded, as if finally understanding Dumbledore's motives, "Ah yes, you completely set this up, didn't you?" the infernal twinkle was back in those blue eyes. "You can't have known that James and I would get along though."

"No," Dumbledore shook his head. "The dismal world of Divination could not have predicted that you two would get along, but I had a very good feeling about it. I just thought that perhaps you would need a little nudge in the right direction."

Everything was falling into place now, as Lucius heard and thought about what he was hearing, "That's why you requested I make him those potions at the beginning of the first term, isn't it? When you knew perfectly well that Poppy had plenty in her store cupboard…" Dumbledore nodded almost gleefully as Lucius put these facts into place. "And when James starting to help me down in my classroom, you gave him the prod to do it, didn't you?"

"I most certainly did," replied Dumbledore happily. "Being as shy as he was to start with, I did not think he would approach you without a prod in the right direction."

Lucius could hardly believe this, and there he was thinking that he and James had come together of their own free will, and now he was hearing that Dumbledore had set them up, "And that weekend James ran away, you would have allowed me to drop dead from exhaustion searching for him, because you knew I wouldn't give up."

Dumbledore nodded again, "Yes, yes indeed. Well, I wouldn't have allowed you to drop dead from exhaustion, but near enough."

"His grandparents accepted me without question as well… Would I be right in thinking that was _also_ your doing?"

"You would be right, yes."

Lucius snorted and shook his head in amusement, "You meddling old fool, we'd have managed fine by ourselves."

"I somehow doubt that, my boy," replied the Headmaster. "I know you have standards and morals, I needed to make sure that you would look after a student so closely."

Lucius raised his eyebrows and huffed, "Don't you ever dare to tell me to be discreet with him again, if this is all your doing. If you planned it from the start."

"Well, as of today, technically, James is no longer your student, so I really have no say in how discreet you must be," said Dumbledore slowly, as if just realising this himself. "But I do believe you will keep the discretion until school has finished, yes?"

Lucius sighed and nodded, "Yes, I will," he sighed and decided to voice something that was on his mind from yesterday. "I was wondering…this Friday, assuming I lose a bet, would it be all right if I take James and his friends down into Hogsmeade for a couple of hours?"

"Ah yes, James can and asked me about that last night," said Dumbledore; Lucius raised his eyebrows in question. "I told him, that as long as you are willing to keep an eye on them and to take full responsibility for anything that happens, then I think it can be arranged."

Lucius nodded, "I take full responsibility, I won't let anything happen to them."

"I am a little concerned about James's insistence on young Regulus tagging along, being that he is underage-"

"I'll keep an extra eye on him," agreed Lucius quickly. "The other four will as well, I'm sure."

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded. "One more thing though, as they will be off the grounds, I have no say in Sirius, Remus and Lily having alcohol, being that they are already eighteen. James and Regulus on the other hand are still not legally old enough to drink, and I hope you make sure that they do not do so."

Lucius nodded again, "I'll make sure… I might not have to take them anyway if James exhausts himself from stress."

"Well, last night he seemed very determined not to let you win," said Dumbledore. "Now, I must go and speak with Minerva. I hope that you will think about redrawing your resignation."

Lucius nodded, "I will think about it…as long as you agree to stop meddling in my love life."

Dumbledore smiled, "Tit for tat, Lucius," he patted the young wizard on the shoulder before walking off down the corridor, whistling a merry tune.

Lucius snorted and turned back to gazing out the window and saw James waving up at him.

…

James grinned after he saw Lucius wave back at him, before flopping onto his back on the ground beneath the tree, the sun beaming down on him and his friends through the branches.

"What are you waving at, you reject?"

James through a half-hearted glare at Sirius, "Lucius was up there."

Lily smirked, "Do you really think he will take us down to Hogsmeade if you prove him wrong?"

James nodded, "He seemed pretty agreeable… Anyway, I _will_ prove him wrong and we'll see what happens. Am _not_ 'emotionally unstable'."

"You are," replied Sirius grinning. "But really, if someone like Malfoy wanted to end it all during his first week of NEWTs then we don't stand a chance. I'd hate for another day like today."

Lily laughed, "And you were so bloody cocky during our OWLs, that'll teach you."

Sirius scowled, "I passed them though, and anyway, I _hate_ potions."

"Don't know what you're complaining about, really," said James absentmindedly while inspecting his fingernails.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You would say that, you're shagging the teacher."

James huffed, "I am _not_ shagging him."

"Yeah, yeah."

"_I'm not!"_ James scowled at his best friend who was laughing now. "Do you want another smack in the face?"

Sirius continued snickering; he sat up and practically climbed on James to hug him, causing the smaller boy to cry out for help, "Aw Jamie baby, you know I don't mean it."

"Ah! Help me!"

Regulus, taking pity on James, picked up one of his ink bottles, took aim and threw it hard at Sirius's head, causing his brother to yelp and jump away from James. "That'll teach you, dog breath."

"Thank you," said James, as he sat up. Regulus gave a proud grin.

Sirius got to his feet, his grey eyes narrowed at his younger brother, "Right, that's it," before Regulus managed to stand up, Sirius had grabbed one of his legs and proceeded to start dragging him towards the lake.

Regulus clawed helplessly at the grass as he was slowly dragged, he knew he would get thrown into the lake if he didn't get away. "_Sirius!"_ he tried to twist around but only succeeded in nearly losing his trousers, eventually he managed to grab his wand and aimed a good _Levicorpus_ at his older brother and succeeded in loosening his brother's grip and flipping upside down by the ankle.

"Let me down, you brat!" Sirius struggled wildly against the invisible force that was holding him up.

Regulus smirked, "I don't think I should, I think you should stay like that," the other three joined him in grinning up at the wildly struggling and cussing Sirius and a voice from behind the group spoke.

"I really should be telling you to let him down, but then again, I wish I had a camera handy," said Lucius in amusement.

Sirius growled, "Professor! Please!"

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "Would I be right in thinking you deserved this?"

James grinned and sidled up to the blond, "You would be right in thinking so, Professor."

Sirius let out a frustrated shout, "Bloody teacher's pet, Potter!"

Lucius laughed quietly, "Let him down, Regulus," Regulus reluctantly obeyed and released Sirius from curse.

Sirius cried out as he plummeted face first towards the ground, but luckily for him, Lucius was quick and had given a flick of his wand to halt his progress. "Shit! Thank you!" he was still hovering about a foot above the ground.

Lucius smirked, "Now, you're going to be good for the rest of your NEWTs, aren't you, Sirius?" Sirius whimpered and nodded. "Good," with that, the blond gave another flick of his wand and released Sirius letting the teenager hit the ground with a loud grunt. "Let that be a lesson to you, it's not fun when people get revenge."

Sirius forced himself to his feet and tried to straighten his clothes and smooth his hair back down, a glare firmly set on his face, "Talking of revenge, you need to pay for being mean to us in our first year."

Lucius had started to walk away but he turned back to Sirius with a sly grin, "You wouldn't dare, you know I could take you in a duel any day."

"Is that a threat?"

Lucius quirked his eyebrows, "The question is, do you want it to be?"

Sirius was at a loss for words, and the blond laughed and walked away from them and headed back up to the castle.

Lily patted Sirius on the arm, "I can't say you _didn't_ deserve that."

Sirius huffed and pulled away from her, he went over to the tree to pick up his bag; he took one more look at the amused group and huffed petulantly again before storming off to the castle. He spent the rest of the day sulking and refused to speak to his friends, his boyfriend and his brother until breakfast the next day. Even during breakfast he spent his time chewing his food and scowling at Lucius up at the Head Table.

………

By Friday afternoon, the group were, if they had to admit it, feeling the stress of the exams, and truly understood the names: _Nastily Exhausting Wizards Tests?_ They truly were exhausting. But, that did not stop the four seventh years plus Regulus, trooping down to Lucius's classroom an hour after their last exam for the day to tell him they were all still alive and not ready to end it all yet.

They found Lucius in his office searching for something under piles of scratty parchment; as soon as he heard them enter he looked up and groaned.

James smiled innocently, "Time for you to pay up, Lucius."

Lucius rolled his eyes, "Ok, give me two minutes," he said as he continued sifting through the mess on his desk. "You could have proved me right, you know."

James raised his eyebrows, "Had to show you who the stoical one is."

"Yes well," Lucius stood up, getting more frustrated that he couldn't find what he wanted, and started feeling around in his pockets. "You may be irritated to know then, that I _did_ in fact survive the first week, _and_ the second," he growled. "I give up. Come on, I have to have you all back before curfew."

"Aw, why?"

Lucius made sure he had his wand on him before heading for the door and opening it for the students to go through, "Because it wouldn't do well if Dumbledore's Head Students, plus three, are out of School grounds after curfew, when they really shouldn't be. He would also like me to return you all sober, as well."

"Oh, come on!"

Lucius shook his head as the group headed for the Entrance Hall, "_No._ Even if it were entirely up to me, I would not allow you to get drunk, even if three of you are old enough."

Lily nodded, "I think it's a good idea, we shouldn't be drinking half way through our exams," she led the way out of the Entrance doors and down the steps. "Anyway, Sirius, we all know what happens to you when you get drunk."

Lucius snorted, "Is that a confession?"

Sirius pulled a face, "Like you never got drunk at school."

"Of course I did," replied Lucius. "No self-respecting Hogwarts student would spend their seven years here sober and celibate."

"Well in that case," started Sirius, as the group neared the gates of the school grounds. "Can we go to the Hogshead?"

"_No._ Absolutely not."

"Why not?" questioned James curiously.

"Because," started Lucius quite seriously. "It is a horrible, seedy little place full of god only knows what. With present young company, it is against my best judgement as well. I also have to say, sorry Lily, that I would not trust anyone in that place around you."

Lily regarded the blond suspiciously, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that there are a _lot_ of very-exceedingly lonely wizards in the Hogshead, including the owner, Aberforth Dumbledore, and any female they see is going to be somewhat of a novelty to them."

Regulus thought for a moment, "Didn't Dumbledore's brother do something with a goat?"

Lucius laughed quietly, "Yes, indeed he did, and that is my point. Look what he resorted too, and probably out of loneliness, or…perverseness… Anyway, no, the Hogshead is out of the question."

"You could always let us go in and not tell anyone in authority?" tried Sirius, in attempt at being cute to endear himself to the blond.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Sirius, he said no."

"Precisely," agreed Lucius. "Anyway, Dumbledore is an excellent Legilimens, and Occlumency is a skill I have not honed all that well. Even without reading our minds he would know, he and Aberforth converse quite a lot."

……

Nearly two hours later, Lucius found himself in the Three Broomsticks with the group of teenagers; they had decided to go and have a look through the shops first before heading for their drinks at the pub. He gazed silently around the pub, noticing a few of the regulars giving them odd looks, and eventually his eyes rested on a cloaked and hooded person in the corner, a person that was apparently looking right back at him. One close look at those eyes told him exactly who it was; he would recognise that irritating twinkle anywhere. "I'll be back in a minute," he told the teenagers as he got to his feet. "_Stay here."_

"Yes, sir."

Lucius headed over to the man in the corner and sat down across from him, "Why do I get the impression that you do not trust me with them?"

"I trust you plenty, Lucius," replied the sneaky Headmaster. "However, I decided, that for the sake of my own mind, I should make sure the lot of you remain safe, in case there is anything foul afoot."

Lucius sighed and glanced over at the happily conversing and laughing group, "Fair enough. Have you seen anyone suspicious?"

"I have seen one, yes," Dumbledore nodded. "However, I do doubt he would attack in the middle of a pub. But when you leave, I plan to tag along to make sure nothing happens."

Lucius nodded, "Ok, sure," with that he bid a temporary farewell to the Headmaster and headed back over to his table.

James looked up at the blond when he returned, "Who was that?"

"Our esteemed Headmaster," replied Lucius, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Does he not trust you?" asked Sirius innocently.

"I'm barely older than you lot, of course not," replied Lucius rolling his eyes. "Anyway, he's just keeping a lookout for us, we could easily be attacked by someone," he noticed a look of alarm pass over James's face and knew that he knew exactly what he meant. "Don't worry, we'll be fine."

………

NEWTs and OWLs were _finally_ over after two weeks of hell for the fifth and seventh year students; as soon as he had dumped his stuff in the dormitory, James headed straight for Lucius's quarters, he had barely seen the blond since Friday night and he had good news to impart from a letter he had received at lunchtime. He snuck quietly into the blond's quarters and found his second favourite person (his first being Harry) fast asleep on his back on his couch; he smiled and carefully, so as not to disturb him, crawled onto the couch and over Lucius so he was straddling the slim waist. There was no sign of the blond waking as James leaned over him and pressed a kiss to the slightly parted lips, within a few seconds he felt Lucius respond, followed by a pair of arms circling his waist and back. "Hi."

Lucius gazed blearily up at James and smiled sleepily, "I could get used to waking up like that."

James smiled back, "Well, maybe you can start waking up like that more often," he felt Lucius shift beneath him and slid to the blond's side so that he could cuddle up to him; his head on a shoulder. "I got a letter from my grandparents at lunchtime, about my father's trial…"

"And?" Lucius had an arm around James, his other arm behind his own head to prop it up a bit.

James lifted his head and smiled a bit, "The evidence was that overwhelming that he lost by a landslide during the vote for his verdict, and he is sentenced to Azkaban to await the Dementor's Kiss."

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "Well, it's about time."

James nodded, "I have an invitation to attend when he gets the Kiss as well… One part of me does want to go, so that a successful me as the last thing that bastard sees before he loses his soul…and then I've heard and read that its really horrible to watch, so maybe I shouldn't see it…"

Lucius gently ran a hand up and down one of James's arms, "Personally, I think it's a bit of an injustice sentencing him to the Dementor's Kiss."

"Excuse me?" replied James, surprised at what he had just heard.

"An injustice to _you,_" continued Lucius carefully, perhaps he should have said that first so as not to upset James. "I mean, as soon as he gets that Kiss, he's not going to remember anything, he won't feel any guilt whatsoever over what he's done. Looking at it from my way, it's a very light punishment. He deserves to be locked up in Azkaban for the rest of his life, with his soul intact, so that he can waste away and go insane from what he's done. It would be the least he deserves."

James gazed at the blond through slightly wide brown eyes, and he was reminded again of just how much Lucius truly cared about him, "…It doesn't seem like it matters now though, does it? I mean, the Wizengamot have voted and that's their punishment… I'd like to torture him but it seems that's out of the question too."

Lucius wrapped his arms fully around James and hugged him tightly, "They might allow you to argue the punishment, you have every right too."

"Maybe I will," James snuggled, if it was at all possible, closer to Lucius's warm body, nuzzling his head against the neck. "Can I stay with you tonight?" he had spent a couple of nights down here with Lucius before his exams, _only_ to sleep, he wasn't ready for anything further; but he did enjoy sharing the blond's bed and having someone warm and lovely to cuddle up to during the night.

Lucius smiled, "Of course you can," he pressed a kiss to James's head and felt an arm slide across his waist. "How did your exams go?"

"Good," mumbled James sleepily. "Glad they're over…"

………

It was finally the day before everybody would be going home for the summer, and there was quite a lot of emotion amongst the graduating Seventh Years.

The group of graduating Gryffindors, plus the returning-next-year Slytherin, were sitting beneath the tree beside the lake again, chatting and just generally hanging out.

"I don't to leave," said Lily for about the dozenth time that day. "I'm so used to being here, that a change in routine might be quite traumatic…"

Remus nodded in agreement, "I know, same here. But then it will be good, because we can all start afresh, and become proper adults and have careers."

James was lay on his back, one hand behind his head and the other arm over his eyes, "Speak for yourself, I've got a kid to raise."

Sirius picked a handful of grass and threw it at James, who was too hot and bothered to retaliate at all, "But _Lovely Lucius_ would probably gladly support you and the brat."

James rolled his eyes, though none could see as they were still shielded from the sun beneath his arm, "Maybe he would, but I don't want him too. I'm going to be independent and I am going to raise Harry all on my own."

Lily smiled, "You know it's going to be hard-"

"I'd say," continued Sirius, cutting the redhead off. "Personally, I would take all the help I can get."

"You would."

"What are you going to do, Sirius?" asked Regulus, he flopped out properly on the grass and used James's stomach as a pillow.

Sirius sat up smugly, "I'm going to be an Auror. I'm going to go through the training, become qualified and arrest everyone I don't like."

Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, "I think you might find it doesn't work quite like that. What about you, Lil?"

Lily looked up from the book she had just opened, "Medi-Witch. I'm coming back here at the start of next term to train with Madame Pomfrey, then, I'm not so sure. I could stay here and work maybe, or head for St. Mungos, or even go and work in another country. What about you?"

Remus gave a shrug, "I don't know, I can't decide. I think I might travel-"

"And leave me?"

Remus nuzzled his head against Sirius's neck, "You'll live."

A few minutes later a small second year girl from Gryffindor approached the group timidly, "James?"

James removed his arm and lifted his head, "Yeah?"

"…The Headmaster wants to see you."

"Right now?"

The girl nodded her head.

"Ok, thanks," James tapped Regulus on the head, "Move," Regulus grumbled and removed his head from James's stomach so that the other could get to his feet. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye bye!"

James headed away from his friends and towards the castle and up the many flights of stairs to the Headmaster's office; he got to the password protected entranced just in time to see the great gargoyle move aside and a very familiar blond emerge from the stairway.

"Not in trouble are we, James?"

James rolled his eyes at the smirking blond, "Of course I'm not…I don't think I am anyway, I don't know. Do you know why he wants to speak with me?"

Lucius nodded, "I would suspect for much the same reason as he just spoke to me," James pulled a look of alarm, so Lucius gave him a gentle shove in the direction of the stairs. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

James grumbled incoherently at the blond before heading up the stairs, and much like the first time they had come face to face at the beginning of this school year; he felt those silver eyes on him as he walked up the stairs right up until he was out of sight. The Headmaster's door was open, so he stepped cautiously through, "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Ah yes, James, do sit down," said the Headmaster cheerfully. "Lemon drop?"

James took a lemon drop from the Headmaster before sitting down, "Thank you."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and surveyed James, "Now, I will get straight to why I asked for you to come here, I have a job proposition for you."

"A job? Here?"

Dumbledore gave a nod, "Yes here. You may or may not have heard that as of tonight's feast, we will be losing our Flying Instructor and Quidditch Referee. After some thought, I decided that you would be a very good replacement, being that you are a keen flyer, and I've noticed, a rather obsessive Quidditch Player. Would you like the opportunity?"

James chewed his bottom lip lightly in thought, this would be a really good opportunity, it would give him the chance to be independent and he would have a roof over his head, free food, and it was a very safe place for Harry to be. "And I could have Harry here with me, right?"

"Most certainly."

James nodded slowly, "What else does that position entail? I mean, Flying Lessons don't go for long, and Quidditch Matches aren't all that often…"

"Yes, that is true, which will give you plenty of free time to follow any other pursuits you may have," said Dumbledore. "However, occasionally we need relief teachers if our other's take ill or need to leave the school for any period of time, so that is something we often have our Flight Instructor do as well. You will, of course, be paid a full salary as all the Professors here," he watched closely as James was considering this. "I think our Potions master may like your assistance on occasion as well, your presence would also be a good incentive for him to stay."

James looked up into the Headmaster's eyes in curiosity, "Lucius was leaving?"

Dumbledore gave a nod, "Yes, he was, but he has agreed to remain for another year, at least."

James sighed and gazed at the floor in front of the Headmaster's desk for a few more moments, before he made up his mind, "Ok, I'll do it."

Dumbledore beamed at the teenager, "Very well. I will draw up your contract during the summer and have it sent to you to read over and sign."

James nodded, "Ok, great."

………

The next morning finally arrived and it was certainly a rather sombre occasion for the Seventh years, except for the two that would be returning the following year in positions of power.

Sirius was sulking as he ate his breakfast, "This is the last time I'm going to have such good food…"

"Oh poor baby," said James in false sympathy; he was feeling unusually good for it being quite early morning, and he planned to pay Lucius a visit before heading for the train later on this morning.

Sirius scowled at James, "Easy for you to say, you and that demon over there are coming back to this in a couple of months."

Lily had her fork half way to her mouth, "Demon?" Sirius nodded. "I'm so sorry you feel that way, you daft mutt."

"_Don't_ start, you two," ordered Remus just as Sirius was about to retaliate

…

Half an hour later James headed for Lucius's quarters feeling very happy indeed; he entered the quarters without knocking and found Lucius in nothing but a pair of black trousers and haphazardly throwing things into the two open trunks in his living area.

Upon realising he was no longer alone Lucius turned around and smiled and before he could get anything out of his mouth he had his arms full of a rather forceful James; causing him to lose his footing. But luckily for them he had been near the couch at the time and had fallen down onto it, taking James with him, as they kissed. He had one arm around James's waist and his other hand at the back of his pretty head when the kiss was broken, "Good morning…"

James grinned down at the blond and kissed him again briefly, "Why didn't you tell me you resigned?"

Lucius raised his eyebrows, "I haven't."

"But you were going too…"

Lucius gave a nod, "I was going to, yes, but Dumbledore talked me out of it, as he does… But, I've been told I have plenty of incentive to stay now."

James smiled, he quite liked the position he was in, on top of a half naked Lucius Malfoy; seeing that man without clothes was a glorious sight to behold, after all, "Would you mind having me as a colleague?"

Lucius lifted his head slightly and kissed James again, "Of course not, it would be nice having a colleague closer to my age."

"Good," James bent his head and nuzzled Lucius's neck; he knew it was something the blond liked, he felt one of those hands gently running up and down his back. "Luce?"

"Mm?" Lucius shifted slightly beneath James, as he felt those soft lips brush against his right ear.

James hesitated before speaking quietly into the blond's ear, "I love you."

A slow smile spread across Lucius's face, as James's words sank in; he nudged James so that he could see the teenager's face again and gazed into those bright brown eyes, "I love you too, James… And I'm not letting you out of my sight."

James grinned and nudged his nose against Lucius's, "I'm going to have to go home at some point."

Lucius ruffled the already highly messy black hair, "Well, you won't be going alone then."

James nodded happily, "I'm fine with that. Harry will like it too."

With that said, Lucius closed the gap between their mouths again in their first kiss as a couple admittedly in love.

James managed to completely miss the train home, because he had wanted to spend the rest of the morning cuddled up this _boyfriend._ Lucius had been planning to have his trunks packed and be out of the School before lunchtime, but with James lying half on top of him, he had no choice but to stay, though he really didn't mind.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Author's Note:** Well, there you go, all 21 pages of the final chapter! How was it? Did you enjoy it?

**Now, if I do decide to write a sequel, it will (obviously) be set sometime in the future of these two boys, but how far in the future would you like to see it? Two years? Five years? Ten years?**

**Let me know what you think.**

_**Thank you all for reviewing! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**_


End file.
